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View Full Version : Good comebacks to insults from opposition.



Ghost Dog
09-04-2014, 10:27 AM
"You've only won one flag!"
That insult is often dished out by opposition supporters. So how do you usually respond to it?

One angle.
A mate of mine who is a Carlton supporter pointed out, for a club who has only won a single flag,
we've won precious few wooden spoons. He credits it to Whitten Oval, which was a fortress for us in days gone by, even when we were not doing well. We were always difficult to beat at home.
Only two of the foundation clubs, Collingwood ( 2) and Carlton ( 3) , have won less than us ( 4 ).
In 90 odd years of football, that's pretty good for a dogged club.

Of course logic is not a very good persuasive language technique to rabid footy fans, but it's consoling for the supporter of a small club.

Any good insults and comebacks to share?

Mofra
09-04-2014, 10:38 AM
"I don't take shit from relocated clubs"

Applies to Essendon, Hawthorn, St Kilda, Collingwood, etc.

always right
09-04-2014, 02:46 PM
The best comeback I've ever heard was shared on the radio a few years back. I think it was a couple of clubs down Frankston way, one of them from the less well-heeled part of the region.

Some scuffles break out on the field and soon the supporters from each team are abusing each other back and forth. The abuse stopped when one supporter yells out to the opposition supporters...."STFU or I'll put up your rent!" I pissed myself laughing.

The Bulldogs Bite
09-04-2014, 03:14 PM
Typically I focus on the future, rather than trying to argue about the past.

"You're right, we have only won one flag, but I'm a hell of a lot more interested and optimistic about what we do in the next 5-10 years than I am about what's happened previously."

Then, most people agree with me and say "You should be good in a few years, etc. etc."

No point trying to butt heads.

LostDoggy
09-04-2014, 04:33 PM
"Go f#*k yourself" has always worked for me!

Of course I wouldn't stoop to that level, what I generally like to do is pick something very topical to the team they support and go for the jugular that way. In the case of your Carlton supporter mate, their marketing department came up with the perfect retort for any comments from that lot for the next decade......"They know we're coming!!!"

LostDoggy
09-04-2014, 05:00 PM
"Go f#*k yourself" has always worked for me!

Love it.

Happy Days
09-04-2014, 05:19 PM
Seriously, who gives people they don't know at the footy shit about their footy team? It's so, so lame and annoying.

I remember a middle-aged woman trying to start "banter" about how we'd never won a flag with me at the Carlton game last year (just after the GOD kicked his fourth goal), and I just laughed at how pathetic it was of her.

Who does this? Why would anyone do this? Is it clever or something and I'm just not high concept enough?

1eyedog
09-04-2014, 05:38 PM
I got into this discussion in the tea room at work last year with a mate who is an Essendon (%$^$ ^%$$) supporter and I focused on maintaining our culture and pride and how we always pride ourselves on our loyal following who have never faltered to support the club even though we have not won a flag since 1954. I asked him who are real football fans - those that turn away from the game if their team don't win a flag for 10-15 years or those that love their club even though that club has not won a premiership for 60 years? Premierships are great but a club who has not won a premiership in so long but is so lovingly embraced by its loyal supporters is just as wonderful.

I then proceeded to ask him how the ASADA investigation was tracking and what his thoughts were on the likely outcome :)

bornadog
09-04-2014, 07:55 PM
I always say we won 9 premierships in the VFA days which was still a pretty good comp with Hawthorn, and North in there as well as Richmond till 1901, plus we beat Essendon for the Champions of Victoria so it must have been a high standard comp.

bulldogtragic
09-04-2014, 08:37 PM
Well the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

lemmon
09-04-2014, 09:16 PM
Well the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

I fear the "no flags for you!" would be thrown back quite quickly :p

LostDoggy
09-04-2014, 09:37 PM
Like 1eyedog, I simply state why I do follow the Dogs. I mean, we're the hard core believers, and therefore the most qualified to retort.

“You've only won one flag!” “We don't need instant gratification to understand and love a sporting club.”
“Go rattle your tins!” “When the chips are down, we gladly and willingly take to the streets to fight for what we love.” If Melbourne fan, I add: “At least we didn't vote our club out of existence.”
“Why don't you follow a real club like Essendon/Collingwood/Carlton/etc.” “Oh yeah, you're important to your club aren't you? You're one of 70,000 members, and you only ever get on a winner, well done you trailblazer you.”
“When's the last time you won a flag?” “When's the last time you had the balls to believe in something, to really have faith despite the odds?”

And so on…

Throughandthrough
09-04-2014, 11:04 PM
i love picking back on their "bag player". Assuming the said same "supporters" have spent the first half (or last there years) bagging one of their own, just go with "but at least we haven't got XYZ". Normally gets a laugh and agreement.

jeemak
10-04-2014, 12:56 AM
I don't get involved in football banter at all.

Each and every club has something that shames them from time to time, and over a long period of time.

I've found the best response to horseshit in the crowd, at work or socially is "explain to me how your association with your club makes you less pitiful than I think you are"............

Not much comes back from that, and I can get on with watching the game.

Mofra
10-04-2014, 10:40 AM
i love picking back on their "bag player". Assuming the said same "supporters" have spent the first half (or last there years) bagging one of their own, just go with "but at least we haven't got XYZ". Normally gets a laugh and agreement.
Haha - a few years ago I was yelling out "You're awsome Tambling" at a Tigers game, early in the third he kicks an absolute howler and before I can say anything a Tigers fan turns around and asks "can I take this one?".

Everyone around us had a giggle.

G-Mo77
10-04-2014, 10:58 AM
The flag comments has never really bothered me. Some supporters hang their hat on premierships they've never even seen, I don't see the point personally. I remember a young Collingwood supporter giving it to me on the train one day and he wouldn't have even been old enough to see the 1990 GF. My comment was "How many have you actually seen in your life, the same amount as I have, none" This was obviously before they beat St. Kilda and upset the young chap a great deal.

I always use the same comment for Richmond supporters. The ones who mouth off from my experience aren't usually over 30 years of age so they weren't even a thought in their Daddy's mind when they won their last flag.

bulldogtragic
10-04-2014, 12:15 PM
The flag comments has never really bothered me. Some supporters hang their hat on premierships they've never even seen, I don't see the point personally. I remember a young Collingwood supporter giving it to me on the train one day and he wouldn't have even been old enough to see the 1990 GF. My comment was "How many have you actually seen in your life, the same amount as I have, none" This was obviously before they beat St. Kilda and upset the young chap a great deal.

I always use the same comment for Richmond supporters. The ones who mouth off from my experience aren't usually over 30 years of age so they weren't even a thought in their Daddy's mind when they won their last flag.

Must agree. I've never been bothered by attempted jokes about when our last flag was. It's a non issue for me coming from an outsider. If an issue of our history is frustrating our drafting and trading is more personally frustrating than premiership histories, and even then outsiders or optional non members comments mean nothing in my eyes anyway. I feel full of pride about our club and our history, and like most we've thickened skins so so what is my attitude?

SonofScray
11-04-2014, 01:23 PM
At Sunshine the other day my 4 yr old nephew and I were waiting in line for the movies, he was wearing a Footscray scarf. Bloke behind us was a bit of a battler so I didn't take offence but he said to the little fella "You must be embarrassed to be wearing that!" I gave the guy daggers and asked my nephew what he thought. His answer was "CARN THE SCRAY! PSSSSSSSSSSSSS" with a few fist puns for good measure. Proud moment.

I don't rate banter at the footy. What I do or say, even if it is ludicrous and over the top is no one else's business. I tend to tell people FOAD, or watch he footy and don't talk to me.