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ledge
02-12-2008, 02:20 PM
Just thought this would be fun, does anyone have any personal ones or ones they have seen.
I will go through my personal ones because basically as a sportsman i was a bit of a dick at times.

No 1, well this i claim was bad luck but hey it was embarrasing,
Primary School footy, I am posted at full back, we have players of the calibre of Zeno Tzatzaris, Darren Brown, maybe even TCD played that day, we had kicked about 15 goals they hadnt had it in the forward line, then it happened, a flaying kick down to me at fullback, i did what i was taught, i ran full boar straight at it, bounce, straight over my head for the only score they got all day, a goal.

No 2, Playing footy at Sunshine, under15s I have now moved up in the world onto a wing, the ball is kicked out to me i grab it and bounce it 4 times with a kid called Darren Brown screaming for it in the centre, now i am going to make a name for myself... i certainly did, i kicked into the forward line where the opposition scored a goal, yes i ran the length of skinner reserve the scoreboard side the wrong way!

No 3 As an opening batsman I had a habit of walking towards the opening bowler as he came in to bowl, I actually got a warning off the umpire one day for all to see for intimidating the bowler!

I have a lot more to mention but I would love to hear some of the things others have done that made you wish you could dig a hole and dissappear.

Mofra
02-12-2008, 02:31 PM
When I was in primary school I went out to bat, and promptly started to take block at the non-strikers end.
I also got caught day-dreaming once, and when someone threw me the ball I chucked it back to the keeper - who had thrown it to the fielder who threw it to me.

No, I am not a professional cricketer.

I also was goalie in a Lacrosse match once, and took a full wind up shot straight in the (lack of as it turned out) protective box. The game was stopped whilst I slowly squeezed my boys back down from my earlobes, to their more traditional position.

ledge
02-12-2008, 02:53 PM
Murphys law says if you wear a box you will never get hit there, if you dont wear a box every chance the puck, or ball gets, it will target your goolies.

Mofra
02-12-2008, 04:11 PM
Murphys law says if you wear a box you will never get hit there, if you dont wear a box every chance the puck, or ball gets, it will target your goolies.
I may have been better off without methinks, at least the inner thighs may have cushioned the blow a little. As it was, the acoustic effect of a cracking blow reverberating within the confines of my gonad prison only added to the trauma.

Scraggers
02-12-2008, 05:56 PM
I also was goalie in a Lacrosse match once, and took a full wind up shot straight in the (lack of as it turned out) protective box. The game was stopped whilst I slowly squeezed my boys back down from my earlobes, to their more traditional position.

Don't rub 'em ... just count 'em :p

LostDoggy
02-12-2008, 06:24 PM
Hmm both my moments would be playing Indoor Cricket

First one goes back years when i was fielding as 'backstop' which is right at the back of the nets behind the bowler. On this day for some reason the bowler decided to move out of the way after the batsman smashed the ball like lightning.

So whos behind the bowler.. and cops it right in the head, knocking me out, thats me.

I got up and everyone was clapping n stuff, I was in la la land, only about 12yrs old at this time. When i got back out there it set in how embarrasing it was considering i wasnt paying attention ;)

soupman
02-12-2008, 07:08 PM
The only embarassing thing I can think of (its certainly not the only thing, its just I've erased the others from my memory) is when I was playing under 18's two years ago.

It was our kickout and I lead out on the half back, to see the full back kick a very high long kick to where I was leading. I knew that I would only just make it if I sprinted, so went full pelt for it to atleast try and stop it going out of bounds on the full. I was about to grab it when I felt something hit my hips and the next thing I knew I was upside down on my head, the ball a metre away and both my legs dangling in the air.

Turns out I ran into the fence and being at the height it was it just toppled me upside down, which must have looked extremely funny to anyone watching but for me it wasn't so enjoyable.

Interestingly and not to my knowledge at the time until a teammate pointed it out I actually broke the fence. It was one of those typical fences you see around ovals, waist high, vertical metal bars every 2 metres supporting a horizontal bar with chicken wire stuck in the gap. I managed to break the joint clean out when I hit it, so atleast I can claim I took on a fence and the fence come off a clear second best.

bornadog
02-12-2008, 07:10 PM
1. When I first started playing golf, teeing off at the first hole in front of a crowd and fluffing it.

2. Playing Golf for the first time at Mooroopna (about my third game), didn't check the card to see how far the hole is on the ninth. Pulled out a wood for the par three 120 metres, with my sister in law and a few guys hanging out the bar laughing their heads off.

3. Playing Cricket in Taipei (yes in Taipei with a bunch of expats). We had played a few games amongst ourselves, when one weekend we were challenged by expat Indians to an Australia v India match. We all had a bowl and when it was my turn, I hadn't realized how passionate the Indians were, as we were there for fun but they were serious. Anyway, I bowl the first ball and the Indian umpire calls a no ball. I thought thats funny I must have over stepped. Next ball no ball again, then a third time. I said to the Umpire, why are you no balling me, and he replied, you haven't indicated to me which side of the wicket your bowling. I thought for god sake its just a game for fun.
When it was my turn to umpire, every ball the Indians went up yelling howzat, it was so annoying.

KT31
02-12-2008, 07:15 PM
I may have been better off without methinks, at least the inner thighs may have cushioned the blow a little. As it was, the acoustic effect of a cracking blow reverberating within the confines of my gonad prison only added to the trauma.

One of my mates was hit in the box once.
The box split and a gnad popped out through the split, before it closed up.
I have never seen someone rolling around in so much pain.
It took a lot of convincing on both sides to get someone to reopen the crack.

mighty_west
02-12-2008, 07:15 PM
Murphys law says if you wear a box you will never get hit there, if you dont wear a box every chance the puck, or ball gets, it will target your goolies.

Unless off course with one of my most embaressing / hurtful moments was giving the lads catching practice out on the ground before play, missed one with the bat, and you can guess where it hit...........






Yep!

LostDoggy
02-12-2008, 07:53 PM
When i was a young buck, back in my swimming days i used to wear speedos. These speedos were a bit worn out from the overdose of clorine needed to keep the sunshine pool clean. Anyway, in i go, swimming away having a great time... until i realised i was MISSING THE BACKSIDE!!!! I just pretended like nothing was wrong though and quicky ran into the change rooms. :S

And then theres been the odd 'kick out from full back and miss the ball and kick the ground and the opposition get it and kick a goal' ones. Cop flack from the boys all week for those ones.

westdog54
02-12-2008, 07:56 PM
Don't rub 'em ... just count 'em :p


http://www.woof.net.au/forum/newreply.php?do=postreply&t=3963
Funny.

Mofra
02-12-2008, 08:18 PM
When i was a young buck, back in my swimming days i used to wear speedos. These speedos were a bit worn out from the overdose of clorine needed to keep the sunshine pool clean. Anyway, in i go, swimming away having a great time... until i realised i was MISSING THE BACKSIDE!!!! I just pretended like nothing was wrong though and quicky ran into the change rooms. :S

And then theres been the odd 'kick out from full back and miss the ball and kick the ground and the opposition get it and kick a goal' ones. Cop flack from the boys all week for those ones.
Aw Jeez I'm looking really bad here.

A few weeks ago, I'm swimming and a busty young blonde number starts breaststroking (unfortunately just the swimming stroke, settle down fellas) in my lane, forcing me to quickly overtake. I complete another 20 laps or so, and stop & chat to her for a while, noticing she is wearing a two-piece bikini with a top that would barely cover two 50c coins.

Anyways, I go to swim off, push off from the wall, and kind of "stop" dead in the water. I had unfortunately made some form of "waterbrake" with my budgie smugglers that turned out to be quite difficult to swim with. I only hope she couldn't see too much of an inverted parachute as I swam away.

bornadog
02-12-2008, 08:45 PM
When i was a young buck, back in my swimming days i used to wear speedos. These speedos were a bit worn out from the overdose of clorine needed to keep the sunshine pool clean. Anyway, in i go, swimming away having a great time... until i realised i was MISSING THE BACKSIDE!!!! I just pretended like nothing was wrong though and quicky ran into the change rooms. :S

And then theres been the odd 'kick out from full back and miss the ball and kick the ground and the opposition get it and kick a goal' ones. Cop flack from the boys all week for those ones.

Those were the days at the Sunshine pool, so many funny sights. I use to love the beef croquets from the canteen, the older girls wearing bathers that were yellow and see through. In summer we would spend the whole day there, no suntan lotion, come home with blisters on our backs...... ahhh growing up in the 60's as a young preteen. We didn't know any better

Sockeye Salmon
02-12-2008, 10:57 PM
Playing in the backline and running with the flight of the ball made a desperate lunge to touch it before it went through - and collected the goalpost at full tilt head on.

I was out for about 20 seconds and the first thing I saw when I came to was my mum - she'd jumped the fence. I was about 18 and playing ressies.

ledge
03-12-2008, 12:04 AM
Those were the days at the Sunshine pool, so many funny sights. I use to love the beef croquets from the canteen, the older girls wearing bathers that were yellow and see through. In summer we would spend the whole day there, no suntan lotion, come home with blisters on our backs...... ahhh growing up in the 60's as a young preteen. We didn't know any better

Sunshine pool oh yes knew a nice young girl across the road from there, mmmm oh i digress, back to the pool, was one of the first to have one of those tube slides put in.
Dont know if you have been there lately its all done up, the manager there is our secretary at the cricket club, Lovely lady, mad Bulldog supporter, think her son pops on this site occasionally.

craigsahibee
03-12-2008, 10:21 AM
The only embarassing thing I can think of (its certainly not the only thing, its just I've erased the others from my memory) is when I was playing under 18's two years ago.

It was our kickout and I lead out on the half back, to see the full back kick a very high long kick to where I was leading. I knew that I would only just make it if I sprinted, so went full pelt for it to atleast try and stop it going out of bounds on the full. I was about to grab it when I felt something hit my hips and the next thing I knew I was upside down on my head, the ball a metre away and both my legs dangling in the air.

Turns out I ran into the fence and being at the height it was it just toppled me upside down, which must have looked extremely funny to anyone watching but for me it wasn't so enjoyable.

Interestingly and not to my knowledge at the time until a teammate pointed it out I actually broke the fence. It was one of those typical fences you see around ovals, waist high, vertical metal bars every 2 metres supporting a horizontal bar with chicken wire stuck in the gap. I managed to break the joint clean out when I hit it, so atleast I can claim I took on a fence and the fence come off a clear second best.

You could give Leigh Matthews a run for his money. He could only manage a behind post and a few jaw bones. (and some Bulldog hearts circa 1985 Prelim.)

westdog54
03-12-2008, 01:05 PM
I was playing soccer at school one day, just a muck around lunchtime game. I beat the last defender, the keeper came out, I got around him and...

Had a fresh airy and lost my footing.

I played in defence for the rest of the game.

LostDoggy
03-12-2008, 01:53 PM
Playing underage cricket and took off for a quick single. Half-way down the track, my box slips from where it was and slowly made its wy down my trousers before lodging behind my knee causing me to break stride and stumble.

Run out by 6 feet - bloody lousy undies!!!!

Happy Days
03-12-2008, 03:42 PM
Once I was umpiring, and I gave one of my compatriots out caught behind.

I thought it was a good decision, until he showed me the freshly-made red mark on his left pad's kneeroll.

ledge
03-12-2008, 06:58 PM
the Sockeye nickname really has nothing to do with Salmon the player has it.

ledge
03-12-2008, 07:00 PM
Once I was umpiring, and I gave one of my compatriots out caught behind.

I thought it was a good decision, until he showed me the freshly-made red mark on his left pad's kneeroll.

Golden rule, no such thing as LBW or caught behind when umpiring your own team.
Even bowled is questionable with a gust of wind.

westdog54
03-12-2008, 11:33 PM
Golden rule, no such thing as LBW or caught behind when umpiring your own team.
Even bowled is questionable with a gust of wind.

When I was played juniors I was given out LBW by one of our coaches. Was absolutely filthy as I was walking off.

At drinks he came up to me and said "Just so you know, that was the most plum LBW in the history of cricket. I couldn't not give it."

strebla
04-12-2008, 01:59 AM
Golden rule, no such thing as LBW or caught behind when umpiring your own team.
Even bowled is questionable with a gust of wind.

that sounds like totty baps rules to me ledge

Sockeye Salmon
04-12-2008, 10:32 AM
that sounds like totty baps rules to me ledge

Not really. I've seen catches at 1st slip be given not out.

westdog54
04-12-2008, 12:47 PM
Not really. I've seen catches at 1st slip be given not out.

Now that is hilarious. How in the Blue Hell do you get the ball to first slip without hitting it?

Then again, if Steve Harmison is bowling...

Scraggers
04-12-2008, 01:19 PM
Now that is hilarious. How in the Blue Hell do you get the ball to first slip without hitting it?

Then again, if Steve Harmison is bowling...

The best first bowl of a series I have ever seen ... I still chuckle when I think about it

The Underdog
04-12-2008, 01:25 PM
Golden rule, no such thing as LBW or caught behind when umpiring your own team.
Even bowled is questionable with a gust of wind.

When I was playing u16's (half a lifetime ago) I got asked to fill in for the 4ths a couple of times. One day I had to square leg umpire and gave one of my teammates not out in a run out decision when he was about 4 feet short of his crease. Don't think I got asked again.

Also ran into an open goal in the dying minutes of a match when we were a point up and hit the post from the edge of the goal square (to be fair it was at Warburton where the posts were a foot wide at the base). Luckily we won by 2 points.

ledge
04-12-2008, 01:59 PM
When I was playing u16's (half a lifetime ago) I got asked to fill in for the 4ths a couple of times. One day I had to square leg umpire and gave one of my teammates not out in a run out decision when he was about 4 feet short of his crease. Don't think I got asked again.

Also ran into an open goal in the dying minutes of a match when we were a point up and hit the post from the edge of the goal square (to be fair it was at Warburton where the posts were a foot wide at the base). Luckily we won by 2 points.

At my age if the ball doesnt quite make the boundary, what could have been 3 is now a quick single, unless i hit it of course then we might even run 4.

bornadog
04-12-2008, 02:11 PM
Golden rule, no such thing as LBW or caught behind when umpiring your own team.
Even bowled is questionable with a gust of wind.

I did that when I was umpiring, and the boys gave me hell after the game, but it was plum:D

ledge
04-12-2008, 02:44 PM
2nd golden rule when your team is batting and your umpiring, always make sure you count the balls in an over correctly because you can guarantee if you accidentaly give a bowler 7 deliveries he will get a wicket on the 7th and your team mates will kill you as you come off.

mighty_west
17-07-2009, 01:50 PM
I remember one time bowling for my school cricket team, being an opening bowler in juniors for my club and having a pretty good season with a bowling average of just over 6, but this one day for school, just could not hit the pitch, playing on one of those synthetic carpet pitches, so when the ball hit the side of the pitch, it just went sideways, i think i ended up bowling like 6 or 7 wides in that one over, needless to say, i was given a spell after that.

Anytime dropping easy catches is ALWAYS extremely embaressing, you just wanted to dig a hole.

mighty_west
17-07-2009, 01:54 PM
2nd golden rule when your team is batting and your umpiring, always make sure you count the balls in an over correctly because you can guarantee if you accidentaly give a bowler 7 deliveries he will get a wicket on the 7th and your team mates will kill you as you come off.

I always said beforehand that i was too honest to not give team mates out, just to get out of it..:D

Giving your team mates out whilst umpiring is almost as bad as subbing for the opposition side because they only have 9 or 10 players, and you catch your team mate out, i remember back in the under 12's, a team we played was so desimated with players, that not only did we supply subs, but one actually had a bowl, for the opposition side, he used his opposite arm to bowl with - funniest moment ever!

Desipura
17-07-2009, 02:35 PM
Sunshine pool oh yes knew a nice young girl across the road from there, mmmm oh i digress, back to the pool, was one of the first to have one of those tube slides put in.
Dont know if you have been there lately its all done up, the manager there is our secretary at the cricket club, Lovely lady, mad Bulldog supporter, think her son pops on this site occasionally.
ah the memories of Sunshine pools. The rap dancing going on between the big and small pools with everyone in a circle clapping those that are attempting to spin on their head. How cold was that pool beside the indoor heated pool?
13 years ago I did a regular workout at the gym there, it look old and run down back then.

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 02:57 PM
One thing I learnt in the last 5 years is to not play competitive sport unless 100%. When I was recovering from my knee reco a few years back (from soccer), I was called into a lower grade Melbourne Uni cricket squad by a desperate friend who was also the captain. While batting was okay (although I had to just block or blast, essentially, not being able to run all that well) fielding was a joke.. the most embarassing one was when I had to turn around and hobble after a ball heading for the boundary (of course, the rest of my teammates were useless and didn't help at all). It stopped about a foot short of the fence, but in the time I took to get to the ball the batsmen ran 7 (!).

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 03:25 PM
One thing I learnt in the last 5 years is to not play competitive sport unless 100%. When I was recovering from my knee reco a few years back (from soccer), I was called into a lower grade Melbourne Uni cricket squad by a desperate friend who was also the captain. While batting was okay (although I had to just block or blast, essentially, not being able to run all that well) fielding was a joke.. the most embarassing one was when I had to turn around and hobble after a ball heading for the boundary (of course, the rest of my teammates were useless and didn't help at all). It stopped about a foot short of the fence, but in the time I took to get to the ball the batsmen ran 7 (!).


Two on the arm?

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 03:31 PM
Two on the arm?

Haha -- no, I'm a reasonable throw. Six and a half on the hobble, half on the arm.

Ps. half thought about kicking the ball over the boundary to concede four, then remembered my Laws of Cricket (as you would well know) and stopped, otherwise would have given away 11!

craigsahibee
17-07-2009, 03:37 PM
Haha -- no, I'm a reasonable throw. Six and a half on the hobble, half on the arm.

Ps. half thought about kicking the ball over the boundary to concede four, then remembered my Laws of Cricket (as you would well know) and stopped, otherwise would have given away 11!

And if that law was enforced back in the early 80's AB and Thommo would have got us over the line against the Poms.

Mofra
17-07-2009, 03:46 PM
It stopped about a foot short of the fence, but in the time I took to get to the ball the batsmen ran 7 (!).
Reminds of a story about the 89(?) ashes tour where Merv Hughes was bowling and nobody fielded for him so he had to get the ball himself in the last over. The batsman ran 5 off a nick to fine leg & won the tour match - the only Australian loss for the tour.

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 04:16 PM
And if that law was enforced back in the early 80's AB and Thommo would have got us over the line against the Poms.

Enforced by whom?

Not the umpires - they were brilliant!

Sockeye Salmon
17-07-2009, 04:29 PM
Enforced by whom?

Not the umpires - they were brilliant!

Debonair! Dashing! Handsome!

The ladies swooned.

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 05:04 PM
Debonair! Dashing! Handsome!

The ladies swooned.

Exactly, you must have been there!:D

DOG GOD
17-07-2009, 07:46 PM
Years ago playing indoor cricket, my team was fielding and i was on the middle line near the pitch. The batting team needed a 7 off the last ball to win the game. The bowler came in and the batsman hit a full on belt straight into my face, blowing my eye up immediately and knocking me to the ground.

The batsman didnt run as he could see i was in strife, so the umpire called "dead ball".

A few mins later i made my way off the court with a suspected fractured cheekbone and an eye socket injury. (i didnt play for the next 3 weeks).

The last ball was re-bowled and they hit a 6 (ran 1) so got the 7 to win the game.

What made matters worse, was that it was a game against one of our most hated opposition. (it would be like carl playing c'wood)

LostDoggy
17-07-2009, 08:53 PM
Grade 5 in primary school. I was in the soft ball team (didn't really want to be mind you!!) We were fielding and I was guarding 2nd base. It was a mixed team BTW, and a much bigger, stronger and taller grade 6 boy threw (well - chucked with power) the ball to me to stop the runner making base.
I put up muy glove..... too high! The ball hit me square in the snozz and top lip. Blood everywhere and my nose & lip felt like it was on fire. :eek:
The worst part about the whole thing, that I wil NEVER forget, was the ribbing my big brother gave me when I got home from school. :mad:
Needless to say I NEVER played baseball ever again!! :rolleyes: