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Mofra
14-04-2009, 01:51 PM
Hello friendly (and hopefully, helpful WOOFers).

I need help. Not in a general, already common knowledge way. I have some specific problems, the second of which I am launching a launching a public appeal for help with.

You see, I recently broke up with a girl, from WA. She didn't follow WCE or Dockers, was looking for a club & I was unable to convert her to the Bulldogs in our short time together. Sorry 'bout that.

Now, being a sap, I take her & her friend to the zoo on Sunday (before anyone asks, yes she is actually old enough to go by herself, but we did say we'd catch up for a zoo visit weeks ago). Yes, sap is probably the correct term.

Having a quiet beer in the sun later that day, she proudly tells me she has chosen a team. Previously leaning towards North, I expect to hear "Kangaroos" pass her lips. Instead, the greatest barrage of insulting language spewed forth.

In other words, she said "Carlton".

After a few seconds of dry retching, I confirmed - yes, she said it. "But Judd's a nice guy" didn't mitigate the taste of vomit in my gullet. She was serious. My kindly explaining they were Satan's club himself, a den of moral abyss that no self-respecting person would associate with was met with a "I thought I did pretty well".

Now the help bit. As much as she is an ex-girlfriend, I still like her. I don't want to see her lost to humanity forever. I need help to change her mind before she is brainwashed by the most evil organisation to exist in Melbourne; Hell Angels, late night kebab shops & Young Liberals included.

I'm thinking a printout of all the negative articles Carlton have amassed in recent memory, sent to her via mail, carrier pidgeon or (perhaps more effectively) via brick through her window. I could provide a thorough treatise on Enron's accounting standards and their AFL equivalents, Carlton's salary cap, over the years.
Beatings are out as I don't hit women, even if they are walking around with the AFL equivalent of 666 on their jumper (CFC - see even the aconym is environmentally damaging).

WOOF, please help. She must be saved.

Mofra
14-04-2009, 01:51 PM
For the record, this is post 1000 (hooray). Which means that post above was 999, or 666 upside down. This doesn't look good.

bulldogtragic
14-04-2009, 01:57 PM
Get her subscribing to John Elliots new website. Listening to his crap is enough to put me off and distracts me from the fact Dick Pratt got the biggest fine in the hostory of Australia and not much was said about it, and they cheat, and they have connections to the underworld.

But seriously, 5 minutes of Jack talking about table ettitquete and manners towards women and not drinking excessively is enough hypocracy to make anyone vomit.

Mofra
14-04-2009, 01:57 PM
Get her subscribing to John Elliots new website. Listening to his crap is enough to put me off and distracts me from the fact Dick Pratt got the biggest fine in the hostory of Australia and not much was said about it, and they cheat, and they have connections to the underworld.

But seriously, 5 minutes of Jack talking about table ettitquete and manners towards women and not drinking excessively is enough hypocracy to make anyone vomit.
This thread is paying off already. Thank you.

bulldogtragic
14-04-2009, 02:05 PM
This thread is paying off already. Thank you.
Oh, and their players are records of womanising, cheating on their wives, using drugs and turn up to training on them, fighting, drink driving and speeding, serious car crashes leaving people injured, corruption and burglary/breaking into each others houses and theft.

And all of the above.

always right
14-04-2009, 02:16 PM
Does she know Fevola plays for them? The risk is he won't just turn her off Carlton but turn her off her food as well.

Mofra
14-04-2009, 02:25 PM
Does she know Fevola plays for them? The risk is he won't just turn her off Carlton but turn her off her food as well.
When I told her about Fevola (specifically fighting in Ireland & pissing on a window) that gave me my first hint that she could be saved. He will provide a useful resource.

Desipura
14-04-2009, 02:30 PM
If she has good morals she will not persue this. Mention how they rorted the system to win the 1995 premiership and were punished as a result hence why they have been near the bottom for the last 5 or so years.

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 02:36 PM
Desi. She dropped Mofra and picked up Carlton. I think that says it all regarding her 'morals'.

We have to appeal to a different type of stimuli in this case -- granted, the Carlton boys have it all over the Dogs in terms of sex appeal at the moment (Cooney vs. Marc Murphy? Case closed), but maybe you can tune her in to the sexy stylings of Rhys Palmer and Matthew Pavlich over at the Heave-Ho, or to the lanky beauty of Aaron Davey and that hunky Cameron Bruce over at Dee-land. At least if she's not going to go for the Bullies get her on to a team that is so pathetic she'll quit football in two years.

If you can't have her, nobody can, is my philosophy.

The Underdog
14-04-2009, 02:43 PM
Might be worth mentioning the close ties between Carlton and the Moran family, although that gangster shit is quite cool these days so it may have the opposite effect.

Scorlibo
14-04-2009, 02:52 PM
We have to appeal to a different type of stimuli in this case -- granted, the Carlton boys have it all over the Dogs in terms of sex appeal at the moment (Cooney vs. Marc Murphy? Case closed)

Gia, case open. :)

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 03:02 PM
Gia, case open. :)

Gia is hot, no doubt, but it's a long way back to no.2.

And one look at Hudson vs. Sam Jacobs, or Waite vs. Minnow, or Juddy vs. Mitch and it's all over. And the less said about Aker's multicoloured head/facial hair, the better.

(My sister-in-law actually said yesterday that she hasn't met a woman who doesn't think Aker's hair/beard combination is ridiculous. Then my missus pipes up and says: I don't think it's too bad. Good old Doggies girl, my missus -- used to be a North fan too before she met me, but a pretty rabid Doggy fan now. Looks like I had the same problem as you, Mofra, only in reverse!)

Happy Days
14-04-2009, 03:09 PM
If it was all about good looking blokes, she'd be barracking for Richmond...I don't think thats the problem.

I'd go with 42-C-3.

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 03:21 PM
If it was all about good looking blokes, she'd be barracking for Richmond...I don't think thats the problem.

I'd go with 42-C-3.

Ah, but she knows that Richmond is $hite.

Everyone, footy lover or not, knows that as it is common knowledge on the street.

Freo and Dees, on the other hand are a bit more subtle ... tell her that Melbourne hold the record for most premierships in a decade or some such thing!

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 03:26 PM
Ps. Actually, my real advice to you, Mofra, is to give up on the bird altogether. She dropped you, then picked up Carlton... surely that must tell you something about her judgement? I don't care how nice looking she is, find another looker that has some taste attached (ie. one that will appreciate you for the upstanding individual you are, Mofra, and also possess the character to look for diamonds in the rough ie. the Dogs. Those who go for 'obvious', populist choices like Carlton aren't the ones you want...)

Rocket Science
14-04-2009, 03:44 PM
Try regaling her with John Dorotich's penchant for parked cars in his heyday.

There's a savoury tale that can't fail to appeal to the ladies.

Scraggers
14-04-2009, 04:28 PM
Has she seen Hudson's beard ... If that's not enough to make any woman go weak at the knees, I don't know what is ;)

http://www.woof.net.au/forum/showthread.php?t=4521

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 04:41 PM
She dices you and then tells you she is going to be a Caaaarlton supporter

As Darryl Kerrigan would say, "give her the lemonade and sars, mate"

A MacGuffin
14-04-2009, 05:06 PM
If you couldn't convince her to follow the dogs, she is beyond redemption.

Move along, and put her out of your mind.

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 05:53 PM
Ps. Actually, my real advice to you, Mofra, is to give up on the bird altogether. She dropped you, then picked up Carlton... surely that must tell you something about her judgement? I don't care how nice looking she is, find another looker that has some taste attached (ie. one that will appreciate you for the upstanding individual you are, Mofra, and also possess the character to look for diamonds in the rough ie. the Dogs. Those who go for 'obvious', populist choices like Carlton aren't the ones you want...)

I agree with this Shane and I met her.

Whats her number?, she was nice.

ledge
14-04-2009, 06:28 PM
My mates a Blues supporter and my question to him is ...name the last president of the club who hasnt got a criminal record ?
He cant.
Thus the big "C" on the jumper, for Corrupt!

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 06:40 PM
Get her subscribing to John Elliots new website. Listening to his crap is enough to put me off and distracts me from the fact Dick Pratt got the biggest fine in the hostory of Australia and not much was said about it, and they cheat, and they have connections to the underworld.

But seriously, 5 minutes of Jack talking about table ettitquete and manners towards women and not drinking excessively is enough hypocracy to make anyone vomit.

Yeah, get her to google Jack and see what sort of history is there. Also Pratt! Jack is enough to make anyone vomit (never forgiven him for that crack about the poor Western Bulldogs and their history -this from a club that has effectively "bought" themselves a few flags)

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 06:41 PM
When I told her about Fevola (specifically fighting in Ireland & pissing on a window) that gave me my first hint that she could be saved. He will provide a useful resource.

Or Fevola on Mad Monday in a nightie with an appendage!!!

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 06:46 PM
Desi. She dropped Mofra and picked up Carlton. I think that says it all regarding her 'morals'.

We have to appeal to a different type of stimuli in this case -- granted, the Carlton boys have it all over the Dogs in terms of sex appeal at the moment (Cooney vs. Marc Murphy? Case closed), but maybe you can tune her in to the sexy stylings of Rhys Palmer and Matthew Pavlich over at the Heave-Ho, or to the lanky beauty of Aaron Davey and that hunky Cameron Bruce over at Dee-land. At least if she's not going to go for the Bullies get her on to a team that is so pathetic she'll quit football in two years.

If you can't have her, nobody can, is my philosophy.

I don't agree about our boys - this is from a woman's point of view. Gia, Johno, Minson, Griff, Lake, Higgins, and even Shaggy are all pretty cute and nice eye candy! Maybe I'm just biased and one-eyed;)

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 07:15 PM
I don't agree about our boys - this is from a woman's point of view. Gia, Johno, Minson, Griff, Lake, Higgins, and even Shaggy are all pretty cute and nice eye candy! Maybe I'm just biased and one-eyed;)

Mmmmmmmm, Higgins....

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 07:31 PM
My good mate is a blues supporter too and he was so turned off by their 'lets pretend to be green now' public image makeover campaign, and all the garbage about it he got in the mail
that was trying to get him to sign up as a member again that he flat out refused to sign up again this year.. i thought theres hope for him yet! also my girlfreind has been converted to the dogs for about 5 years now, and i heard her telling one of her friends the other day that they are the community club and about all the good things they do in the community so i reckon that might be a good angle to take with your ex as well.

comrade
14-04-2009, 07:35 PM
I don't agree about our boys - this is from a woman's point of view. Gia, Johno, Minson, Griff, Lake, Higgins, and even Shaggy are all pretty cute and nice eye candy! Maybe I'm just biased and one-eyed;)

No Hudson?

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 08:09 PM
Mofra, I can sympathise with you. Long story, but I just met a half brother than I haven't seen for years and years who lives in Perth (we are both ex kiwi's). I wondered if he was into the footy as much as me and lord wouldn't it be good if he was a doggies supporter - wishful thinking really. So I assumed he would barrack for either Freo or West Coast. He is still very much into the rugby, but followed the AFL team that has his colours from Marlborough (NZ) navy - bloody Carlton - I nearly spewed up.:eek: Well I tried all the "links to the maffia, salary cap breaches, bad sports, corruption" you name it and it was like water off a ducks' back. So good luck with that.

As she is female get her to meet one of our good lookers Gilbee, Higgins, Minson, or Gia - she will never look back.;)

Mofra
14-04-2009, 08:20 PM
Cheers to everyone for their suggestions (except Maurice you shark! She's old enough to be your daughter if you lived in the Latrobe Valley).

Just to recap:
- I'm not trying to get back with her, just save her soul from damnation
- She isn't the type to date a footballer, she's from hippy stock. She only has one day off a week from work/uni anyways
- I'm not willing to write her off completely; apart from being a good source of cooking & wine knowledge, she is studying massage and offered me one (no happy ending jokes please)

Lastly, anything that can be seen to further the Carlton cause must be stopped, condemned & halted in the name of common decency. Thanks for all the reminders of Blues indescretions, I'll compile a list and forward it to her (making sure she reads it). Any other indescretions can be listed in this thread as some sort of "record of football evil" so I can make sure I don't miss any of the Blues evil deeds over the years.

The Coon Dog
14-04-2009, 08:29 PM
Ian Collins was their president.

Rocket Science
14-04-2009, 08:56 PM
Ian Collins was their president.

Ding ding ding ding ding...I think we have a winner.


This thread reminded me of this recent U.S. TV ad, which albeit not footy-related still goes to the heart of your predicament.

6cr89xbl26g

The bear, incidentally, is the Bruins' mascot, and they have an epic rivalry with the Canadiens (whom they face in the first round of the playoffs starting this week) which something akin to Carlton/Collingwood, times a thousand.

Picture yourself in a Dogs jumper, her in a Blues jumper, and Ben Hudson in place of the bear. The rest writes itself.

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 09:18 PM
No Hudson?

Ah Comrade, 'fraid I'm not really into the facial hair thing, but hey, everyone's different i.e., different strokes for different folks :D

Mofra
14-04-2009, 09:44 PM
Ok, here's what I have so far:

A List of Carlton Evils

Just some background information on a club whose evils and lack of morality would be more at home in a Hells Angels crack den than in modern Australian Society. This is why Carlton are one of the most hated clubs in Australia, and one of the least respected.

• Carlton, always the "rich" silvertails club of the VFL (now AFL) used their clout to illegally buy players as far back as the 1897 season, also being commonly known for taking in interstate players.
• In 1910 - they rigged games and suspended two star player for 5 years (99 games each) for taking bribes & playing dead during the season (there were also suspicions over their 1909 season). It was the biggest scandal in Australian sport for decades.
• Underbelly seems to gloss over the links between the Carlton Football club and organised crime. The Morans were huge Carlton fans (most organised crime bosses were). Mark Moran, killed in 1982, had the 1982 Premiership pennant drape over his coffin for his funeral. The Morans never gave it back. Yes, these drug dealers & killers were closely enough tied to the Blues to borrow tightly controlled memorabilia from the club. Moran's wake was held in the Carlton Club Rooms. The pennant was returned to the club by an associate of the Morans in 1997.
• Leo Brooks (grandfather to the Morans) was also linked to the theft of the 1970 Premiership cup, replaced by a replica. The original was returned later under "suspicious" circumstances.
• Links to Melbourne's underworld were also widely believed during the 80s. Former players are linked to many Melbourne nightspots, especially "adult entertainment" venues in proximity to King St.
• Despite the Salary Cap meant to protect the integrity of the competition, Carlton constantly and flagrantly flouted the rules. The 1995 Premiership is widely known as the tainted cup after Carlton won the premiership after a stellar on field season

Mofra
14-04-2009, 09:44 PM
Pg 2:

(Carlton's history of buying the best available talent from across the land, in spite of rules prohibiting this, appeared to be a difficult habit to break). This would have massive implications in just a few short years.
• "In 2002 the club was in great turmoil. Off-field the club had mounting financial losses and accounting irregularities which ultimately caused the club president John Elliott to resign from office and the subsequent removal of his name from the John Elliott Grandstand. He was succeeded by Ian Collins as president in 2003. On-field the team went through the entire season without winning a single game on its home ground, which culminated in the club claiming the wooden spoon for finishing last on the AFL ladder for the first time in its history."

• Which brings us to John "Jack" Elliott. Prominent FatCat businessman, former President of the Australian Liberal Party & Carlton Football Club for 2 decades, Elliott was found guilty of trading whilst insolvent in 2003 and in 2005 declared bankruptcy, owing money to 14 creditors. Wikipedia: "He has frequently provoked controversy due to his political affiliations, his brushes with the law, and his abrasive personal style". He was primarily dumped as president for being found to have continuously and blatantly cheated the salary cap during his tenure.
• He was succeeded by Ian Collins, regarded by many as the most hated man in AFL football. Ian Collins resigned to take over management of Docklands stadium, whose stadium deals has caused a bitter rift with the AFL, where the smaller Victorian clubs are earning a pittance from gate receipts due to the dominant position of Docklands stadium in the Victorian sporting industry.
• Ian Collins also caused controversy in 1997, where he single-handedly robbed the best player of the year, Chris Grant, of the Brownlow medal. During the season Grant was reported for striking by the match review panel, a charge that was thrown out at the tribunal after evidence by the opposition player and all three field umpires (who were adamant that the incident was not reportable). Ian Collins, as commissioner, insisted that he should be rubbed out for one week. Grant later polled the most votes in the Brownlow medal count, however was ruled ineligible because of suspension.

Mofra
14-04-2009, 09:45 PM
Pg 3:

• Their current President is Dick Pratt, the greatest corporate criminal still holding a Directorship in Australia. He was fined a record $36m for price fixing by the ACCC, being found guilty of cheating customers & companies out of approximately $700m.
• Now, Carlton's off field dramas are legendary, in many respects surpassing those of both WCE & Hawthorn. For a start, two players turned up to training both still off dials on pills, Karl Norman & Lawrence Angwin, in 2004. Laurence Angwin was immediately sacked, whilst Karl Norman was sacked the year after. Players say they took 15 pills between them prior to training, having not slept the night before. "No one at Carlton asked us if other players were involved because, I guess, they didn't want to hear the answer," Angwin said in an interview shortly after.
• Karl Norman was also evicted from a home in 2005 in Maribyrnong for trashing it and refusing to pay rent.
• Brendan Fevola, one of the real idiots of the AFL. Threatened with sacking almost every year of his career up to last year, he has quite a list of indiscretions. Lets have a look - in 2008, kicked out of a Prahran Bar for bad behavior, he then urinates on the front window. In 2006, kicked off the Australian International Rules Team during the tour of Ireland, after getting into a bar brawl, including putting the barman in a headlock. The barman was quoted as saying "he put me in a headlock & thumped me in the face". At the end of 2008, we was sporting a dress & a giant pink dildo as he jetted around Federation Square in Melbourne - in full view of families.
• Speaking of September indiscretions, he also cheated on his wife (with young child) with Lara Bingle, who claims she had no idea he had a family. What a guy.
• You may also noticed Carlton haven't made the finals for 7 years. This is due to the AFL starting to crack down on salary cap cheating. In 2003, the club was found guilty of systemic & continuous salary cap breaches. They were penalized with a $930k fine, and a loss of draft picks in that year, the next year, and for the pre-season draft as well. Did I mention no other club has lost draft picks for such blatant cheating?



That's it so far, have I missed anything obvious?

LostDoggy
14-04-2009, 09:52 PM
Geez, no wonder I hate that club :) Well done on the summation - you make us dogs supporters proud! Not sure if it will change your ex's mind, but if she is more the hippy type, she surely will hate the corporate crime stuff of their leaders. Again, well done :)

always right
14-04-2009, 10:11 PM
Tell her that by taking the Carlton option, she is destined to forever be known as a sheep, someone who took the easy way and blindly followed all the other sheep who barrack for the big clubs. The club has a history of permierships which only means something if you actually barracked for them during that period. She'll never be considered a real Carlton supporter, just another one of the hapless who jumped on board just as their supporters can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel after years of shame and ridicule. Tell her it's not a light but the glare from the gaudy rolex watch being worn by yet another dirty, cheating, criminal mafia blueboy as part of their ill-gotten gains.

On the other hand she could choose the Bulldogs, representing everything that is good in the corporate world of the AFL. An honest, hardworking club who create connections with their community with an earthy character that endears it to those who have not lost the romance of the aussie battler overcoming the odds to be successful despite all the obstacles thrown its way. Imagine coming on board with a club primed to create its own magnificent history. Imagine being there when Johnno lifts that premiership cup, the emotion overflowing, the sheer joy on the faces of thousands of fellow doggie supporters all sharing the moment with each other after so many years of false hope.

Ask her to be honest....what would be better? Sharing in the elation of a premiership after 55 years of disappointment or gloating amongst arrogant unappreciative Carlton swill who have never had their character truly tested as supporters? It's a no-brainer isn't it?

The Underdog
14-04-2009, 10:12 PM
Ding ding ding ding ding...I think we have a winner.


This thread reminded me of this recent U.S. TV ad, which albeit not footy-related still goes to the heart of your predicament.

6cr89xbl26g

The bear, incidentally, is the Bruins' mascot, and they have an epic rivalry with the Canadiens (whom they face in the first round of the playoffs starting this week) which something akin to Carlton/Collingwood, times a thousand.

Picture yourself in a Dogs jumper, her in a Blues jumper, and Ben Hudson in place of the bear. The rest writes itself.

That's ace, Carlton are a pretty good substitute for the Canadiens too, ie everyone else freakin hates them.

hujsh
14-04-2009, 10:25 PM
No doubt that having a kid who followed the Dogs would sway her. My Mum and Dad were Geelong supporters but I got Mum to realize how good the Doggies are and my Dad wouldn't have the Dogs far behind Geelong anymore.


A long way to go for 1 supporter though.

Sockeye Salmon
15-04-2009, 12:33 AM
That's it so far, have I missed anything obvious?

John Dorotich arrested for masterbating in a car.

Wayne Johnston questioned by police as to why he was caught on police survelience video entering an amphetimines lab.

alwaysadog
15-04-2009, 01:03 AM
I think you need to take a totally different approach; a softly softly catchee monkey strategy.
Whatever you do don't cast aspersions or any negative comments on the navybluescum.
Even highly intelligent usually sane people make huge mistakes at times but they don't like, nay detest having their shortcommings pointed out to them.
My experience is that attempts to lead them to see wisdom at such times are counter productive and only produce the most dogged refusal to change their mind.
We all reserve the right to change our minds whenever we like, but we don't like others adopting a superior position and trying to impose a change on us.
To succeed you must appear to take all the pressure off. Appear glad that she has made a decision and ask her why she made it and what she expects and whether she did any research on the team first.
The strategy is to make sure that she becomes aware of all the obnoxious and almost limitless number of crimes against humanity that have been committed by the bluebaggless horde, without appearing to be responsible.
When they no longer hold the hope of any joy and if she is a nice person that hope was ill founded anyway and ultimately find a way for her to keep face while changing her mind.
Good luck with your noble cause.

LostDoggy
15-04-2009, 09:37 AM
Tell her about Carlton's new motto.

It goes like this:

They Know We're coming.............................tenth or eleventh or maybe thirteenth!!!

Mofra
15-04-2009, 12:27 PM
To succeed you must appear to take all the pressure off. Appear glad that she has made a decision and ask her why she made it and what she expects and whether she did any research on the team first.
"Judd's a nice guy" seems to be the limit of her research, as well as a slight geographical bent (living in North Fitzroy, doesn't want to follow the Bearlions, Carlton was close).

I probably wont have too much weekly contact with her so I need an impact, otherwise the softly softly approach would be the way to go.

Mofra
15-04-2009, 12:28 PM
John Dorotich arrested for masterbating in a car.

Wayne Johnston questioned by police as to why he was caught on police survelience video entering an amphetimines lab.
Again, this thread pays dividends. Cheers

Sedat
15-04-2009, 01:02 PM
They might have ended up with the good Wiggins, but they sure as hell got the shit Smorgon.

BornInDroopSt'54
15-04-2009, 03:15 PM
They might have ended up with the good Wiggins, but they sure as hell got the shit Smorgon.

Good one.

mighty_west
15-04-2009, 03:55 PM
I feel your pain Mofra, my better half WAS a Richmond supporter, of all teams, but fortunatly i was able to get rid all those demons, and convert her, she was even a Doggies member one season :D, although she isn't what you would call a "footy chick".

I made her wear my Tommy Williams training jumper the other week against North.

Mofra
15-04-2009, 04:23 PM
I feel your pain Mofra, my better half WAS a Richmond supporter, of all teams, but fortunatly i was able to get rid all those demons, and convert her, she was even a Doggies member one season :D, although she isn't what you would call a "footy chick".

I made her wear my Tommy Williams training jumper the other week against North.
Fantastic effort MW; we really should start some form of WOOF Dating Conversion Service to help the troubled ladies of Melbourne realise the errors of their ways and start following the community club.

ledge
15-04-2009, 04:56 PM
With manly looks in the team like Huddo and that big smile from Johnno, how can women not follow the doggies??

mighty_west
15-04-2009, 06:17 PM
Fantastic effort MW; we really should start some form of WOOF Dating Conversion Service to help the troubled ladies of Melbourne realise the errors of their ways and start following the community club.

She had no choice mate, either stay with me and convert, or on your bike, she made the wise choice!

:D

The Pie Man
15-04-2009, 07:07 PM
Just thought I'd let everyone know this thread was well worth the 10 + minutes it took to read. Super, super work everyone, absolutely pissing myself laughing.:D

comrade
15-04-2009, 07:25 PM
John Dorotich arrested for masterbating in a car.



Adds another dimension to "They Know We're Coming"

ledge
15-04-2009, 07:50 PM
And with the presidents all being crims .."they know where we are going" seems like next years catchcry.

craigsahibee
15-04-2009, 09:35 PM
"Judd's a nice guy" seems to be the limit of her research, as well as a slight geographical bent (living in North Fitzroy, doesn't want to follow the Bearlions, Carlton was close).

I probably wont have too much weekly contact with her so I need an impact, otherwise the softly softly approach would be the way to go.

Kidnap one of her pets and hold it for ransom until she wilts and buys a membership. If she doesn't have any pets, dye all of her sarongs (or whatever the garment of choice for "hippie types"is these days) red, white and blue.

Mofra
15-04-2009, 10:11 PM
No pets unfortunately.

I have a document completed now, if I send it tomorrow morning from the CBD she should get it Friday. It is 6 pages in total, with a spce between each paragraph (I did flesah it out with suggestions from this thread, and another unnamed website).

Thanks to all involved for all your suggestions; I sugggest we keep this thread active so as to provide some sort of archive for future Bulldog fans. I may even post the full list sent at some stage.

Cheers

ledge
18-04-2009, 02:27 PM
No pets unfortunately.

I have a document completed now, if I send it tomorrow morning from the CBD she should get it Friday. It is 6 pages in total, with a spce between each paragraph (I did flesah it out with suggestions from this thread, and another unnamed website).

Thanks to all involved for all your suggestions; I sugggest we keep this thread active so as to provide some sort of archive for future Bulldog fans. I may even post the full list sent at some stage.

Cheers

And dont forget to update us if it worked and the quotes that did the job on her.

LostDoggy
19-04-2009, 10:29 AM
Tell her about Carlton's new motto.

It goes like this:

They Know We're coming.............................tenth or eleventh or maybe thirteenth!!!

I think Essendon and Sydney saw them coming...

ledge
19-04-2009, 10:47 AM
I think Essendon and Sydney saw them coming...

Bit hard not to know when they are telling you on telly and the fixture tells you, didnt say they would be any good though.

LostDoggy
20-04-2009, 12:03 PM
Bit hard not to know when they are telling you on telly and the fixture tells you, didnt say they would be any good though.

That's true, actually. If you really think about it, "We're Coming" is a catchy catch-cry that doesn't actually say anything. All the teams are coming, after all, to the MCG, to Docklands etc. to play footy.

Whether you actually do anything after you get there is another story altogether.

Richmond and Carlton guaranteed to make the 8 I heard many say at the start of the season?

Cats, Dogs, Adelaide, Port, Sydney, Collingwood, the Saints and Hawthorn, and maybe even North and Brisbane are TEN teams that will finish over Carlton this year.

ledge
20-04-2009, 12:16 PM
Cats, Dogs, Adelaide, Port, Sydney, Collingwood, the Saints and Hawthorn, and maybe even North and Brisbane are TEN teams that will finish over Carlton this year.

Now isnt that just a beautiful thought.
Wonder if the papers got it wrong and they meant coming for the wooden spoon.

ledge
20-04-2009, 12:17 PM
By the way Mofra i cant wait for the outcome, guess i have to though.

Mofra
20-04-2009, 01:16 PM
By the way Mofra i cant wait for the outcome, guess i have to though.

Hopefully she gets the letter today. I'm fairly sure I'll get a message when she gets the letter.

It's a message that will cost me a massage but I'm sure it will be worth it.

ledge
20-04-2009, 02:18 PM
You know to save all your writing you could have just put her onto this thread.

Mofra
20-04-2009, 02:56 PM
You know to save all your writing you could have just put her onto this thread.
I decided that using snail mail would form part of my "charm".

In any case, I'm not sure she has the internet herself (her housemate does). I still think there is a little bit of comfort in the tactile methodology of using paper to get my point across.

Besides, if she refuses logic & reason and chooses to keep her Carlton affiliation, the paper will come in hady as it will surely burst into flames when she reaches the innermost sancta of hell, providing a handy timeline in some respect.

bornadog
20-04-2009, 06:19 PM
I decided that using snail mail would form part of my "charm".

In any case, I'm not sure she has the internet herself (her housemate does). I still think there is a little bit of comfort in the tactile methodology of using paper to get my point across.

Besides, if she refuses logic & reason and chooses to keep her Carlton affiliation, the paper will come in hady as it will surely burst into flames when she reaches the innermost sancta of hell, providing a handy timeline in some respect.

Are you taking her to the game this week?

Mofra
20-04-2009, 07:28 PM
Are you taking her to the game this week?
No, she's not a massive football person. Might try and take her to the comedy festival, simply because I'm keen so see someone and she's good company. Might have to invite along someone else so it doesn't look like a date.

bulldogtragic
20-04-2009, 08:48 PM
No, she's not a massive football person. Might try and take her to the comedy festival, simply because I'm keen so see someone and she's good company. Might have to invite along someone else so it doesn't look like a date.
How about taking 36 WOOF annonymous football bloggists?

That will throw her of the scent.

Mofra
20-04-2009, 10:04 PM
Success.... kind of.

She has decided to shun Carlton, but instead has chosen Geelong as her team.

I have a couple of mates who are Geelongians, so that's a reasonably acceptable choice, as oppposed to the vile evil that is represented by the Visy scum.

Thanks to all who helped.

hujsh
20-04-2009, 10:45 PM
Was the doggies ever an option for her?

Desipura
21-04-2009, 10:05 AM
Success.... kind of.

She has decided to shun Carlton, but instead has chosen Geelong as her team.

I have a couple of mates who are Geelongians, so that's a reasonably acceptable choice, as oppposed to the vile evil that is represented by the Visy scum.

Thanks to all who helped.
Ok lets see if we can change her mind about Geelong, I will start......
Gary Ablett Senior and the off field issues
the hoops on the jumper make you look fat
they are a different breed out Geelong way, similar to Sth Aussies
They dropped a favourite son for the 2007 grand final who played every game for an ageing player who rarely played a game that year. hehehehehe

LostDoggy
21-04-2009, 10:10 AM
Ok lets see if we can change her mind about Geelong, I will start......
Gary Ablett Senior and the off field issues
the hoops on the jumper make you look fat
they are a different breed out Geelong way, similar to Sth Aussies
They dropped a favourite son for the 2007 grand final who played every game for an ageing player who rarely played a game that year. hehehehehe

Nah mate. Geelong are gold. For all their faults they play a beautiful brand of footy at the moment.

Heck, if I weren't a Dog I would almost be a Cat...

... Naaaaaah.

Mofra
21-04-2009, 10:36 AM
Was the doggies ever an option for her?
Nope, not at all. Was just trying to get her away from Carlton.

Desipura
21-04-2009, 12:54 PM
Nah mate. Geelong are gold. For all their faults they play a beautiful brand of footy at the moment.

Heck, if I weren't a Dog I would almost be a Cat...

... Naaaaaah.
Nah mate, our team is GOLD!

hujsh
21-04-2009, 03:11 PM
Nope, not at all. Was just trying to get her away from Carlton.

Geelong's a good result then.