WESTERN Bulldogs forward Jarrad Grant has revealed the mental anguish that tormented him last season.
In a brutally honest self-assessment, Grant has told AFL.com.au an increasingly negative mindset and his lack of a worthwhile pursuit outside the game - which had led to an unhealthy focus on football - had contributed to his sub-standard season.
The 22-year-old is hoping a positive outlook and a more balanced lifestyle will help him purge the memory of 2011 and recapture the form that made him one of the AFL's most promising forwards.
It was an unexpected fall from grace for Grant following a breakthrough 2010 season in which he kicked 29 goals in 20 matches.
The lightly-built forward started 2011 in reasonable touch, kicking four goals in the opening NAB Cup triple-header against the Cats and North Melbourne at Geelong. He then tallied 11 goals in the opening eight premiership games as the Bulldogs fell to a 3-5 start.
But Grant was dropped three times, and played just eight of the last 14 matches, adding only five more goals. Ten times he managed no more than 11 touches.
As Grant endured his extended flat patch, he was wracked by self-condemnation that largely sabotaged his attempts to build on his 2010 form.
"I had a pretty poor year and I was really disappointed in myself," he said.
"The coaches expected more out of me too, and fair enough.
"The team wasn’t going well and my form wasn't helping at all. My consistency was a bit wavy - up and down.
"I have high expectations of myself and when I'm not performing up to that level, like last year, I tend to get a bit down on myself.
"And that negative stuff doesn’t help you when you’re trying to find some form to stay in the team, or to get back in the team."
With the help of leadership consultant Richard Maloney, Grant has developed a more positive mindset - he says "a fresh attitude" - and feels better equipped to handle the game's challenges.
He will also better occupy his time and mind with diversions away from the game - online study for a small business certificate, and pursuing his interest in horse racing.
"I was full-time footy last year and that probably contributed a bit to my down year," Grant said.
"This will give me something to do away from the footy club and take your mind away from thinking about the game flat-out 24/7, which can be a bit unhealthy at times.
"Footy's a tough industry and your head can do some funny things to you. I learnt that last year."
Grant also owns a share of promising six-year-old trotter Bout Time, and occasionally heads up the Western Freeway to Melton to check on horse's progress
"The early mornings are the hardest part because I love my sleep - most of my teammates will tell you that," he said.
"A lot of people just like to bet on horses or go to the racecourse, but I like to see what happens behind the scenes. A lot more goes into it than people think, just like at a footy club, where there's a lot more to it than just game day."
Recently retired Bulldogs forward Barry Hall has also had a huge influence on Grant, who describes Hall as his favourite Dogs identity. Aside from his training and playing example, Hall made a significant impact upon Grant with his attitude to life.
"He was great off the field too because he's very jovial," Grant said. "I learnt from him that as much as we want to win every week, you also need to have some fun and have a life outside footy."
Grant is hopeful of having more fun on the field too. Since being the Bulldogs' first pick at No. 5 in the 2007 NAB AFL Draft, he has played 37 games in four seasons. But with Hall gone, Grant is one of several tall forwards hoping to thrive in a restructured attack.
He has enjoyed a solid pre-season, although he missed a week of training pre-Christmas with back soreness as he adapted to the increased leg weights demanded under the new regime.
Grant says it's crucial that he becomes versatile enough to play tall and small roles in a more fluid forward line.
A focus has been his aerial work, in particular contested marking. Even in 2010 he took just eight; and last year only seven, when the Dogs' veteran runners Daniel Giansiracusa and Daniel Cross managed 19 and 17 respectively. However, with assistant coach Steven King schooling him on positioning and general physicality, it may well become a strength.
Although he continues to improve his physical strength, the gains are hardly noticeable on Grant's lean, 192cm and 83kg frame. He has finally accepted that he won’t develop into a muscle-bound pack-breaker.
An inspiration, though, is teammate Bob Murphy, who started his career at 71kg and is now also listed at 83kg.
"Murph holds one of the records here for weight-to-power ratio, so there's nothing to say that a leaner guy can’t be strong and have a good career," he said.
"Murph gives guys like me some hope that we might be able to do that too."
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