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  1. #1
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    Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Marcus Bontempelli




    To change the horrifying statistics on violence against women in this country, we must change our culture.

    Statistics make up a big part in the life of an AFL player. Everything we do in games and even in training is measured and analysed. The numbers tell a story, usually, and explain why things have panned out the way they did. It's something I have become used to in my two years at the Western Bulldogs. In 2015, our team achieved statistics we can be proud of, but one statistic that didn't sit well with me led me to become an ambassador and passionate supporter of The Line, a national initiative that encourages young people to challenge attitudes and behaviours that support violence against women.

    I attended an information session at the AFL Players Association this year, which clearly outlined how pervasive violence against women is in this country.
    One in three women will experience some sort of violence in their life. One in four will experience violence by a current or former partner.


    For me, with three sisters, that's a frightening number to take in. It's also disheartening that according to research commissioned by the Our Watch organisation, some young men think that being masculine means they need to show physical strength, control others, or tell their partners what to do.

    Stereotypes are a big problem because they can excuse or justify violent, disrespectful behaviours; and they don't allow young men and women to be themselves.

    Some things you see in the news about women being hurt by people who should be the closest to them can be hard to think about. Luckily, this sort of violence and behaviour is not something I've come across. But when you hear those numbers, you start to think.



    For young boys in particular, hearing and seeing men they look up to conveys a positive image of masculinity can help reframe their thinking, including breaking free of the gender stereotypes they associate with what it means to be a man.
    I'm asking other men to think too. Think about the last time you changed your behaviour to stay safe while walking down the street.
    You haven't? No, nor have I.

    But a whopping 9 in 10 Australian women have experienced street harassment and have modified their behaviour in response. Crossing the street to avoid strangers, pretending to have a conversation on the phone, or grasping keys as a weapon is not something I, or most men I know, have done.


    Any behaviour that makes a girl or a woman feel frightened, diminished or intimidated is unacceptable, no matter how many drinks have been had or whether it's just a "bit of fun".

    There is no excuse for violence. Plain and simple.
    It hits home hard that my sisters have probably experienced sexual harassment and that statistically, one of them has a good chance of experiencing violence at some stage in her life.

    As an ambassador for The Line, I have the opportunity to speak to people younger than me, when they're still forming attitudes about their relationships, and hopefully influence the way they behave. These types of conversations, challenging attitudes and beliefs of people from a young age, is crucial to creating an understanding of what is classified as acceptable behaviour.


    For young boys in particular, hearing and seeing men they look up to conveys a positive image of masculinity can help reframe their thinking, including breaking free of the gender stereotypes they associate with what it means to be a man.

    My biggest influencers – my mother and three sisters – taught me that to be a man means to be kind, compassionate and respectful.
    To change the horrifying statistics on violence against women in this country, we must change our culture. In our clubs, communities, friend groups and families, we can all do something make sure sexist attitudes, victim blaming and violence are things of the past.

    Marcus Bontempelli is an AFL player for the Western Bulldogs and an ambassador for The Line, a national initiative to prevent violence against women and girls, alongside fellow AFL players Shaun Burgoyne and Patrick Dangerfield.

    If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, family or domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.



    Last edited by bornadog; 18-12-2015 at 05:54 PM.
    FFC: Established 1883

    Premierships: AFL 1954, 2016 VFA - 1898,99,1900, 1908, 1913, 1919-20, 1923-24, VFL: 2014, 2016 . Champions of Victoria 1924. AFLW - 2018.

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  3. #2
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Great work from Marcus to focus on anti violence against women. What is wrong with men.!!!
    FFC: Established 1883

    Premierships: AFL 1954, 2016 VFA - 1898,99,1900, 1908, 1913, 1919-20, 1923-24, VFL: 2014, 2016 . Champions of Victoria 1924. AFLW - 2018.

  4. #3
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    What a man! Fantastic that Marcus has discovered that the pen is mightier than the sword or a bulliy's fist for that matter. It's a very cowardly impulse that leads a man to control woman with violence or anger. I never witnessed it growing up but I imagine someone who have could either be abhorred or think it's part of life on some level. Is it like child abuse in that if you were abused, you are more likely to abuse? Awareness of our impulses and how to deal with them is very important for all of us.
    If he hits you, leave him.
    Last edited by BornInDroopSt'54; 21-12-2015 at 05:22 PM. Reason: grammar
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by bornadog View Post
    Great work from Marcus to focus on anti violence against women. What is wrong with men.!!!
    Good on you Bont. Not to mention verbal bullying, which is a sort of violence anyway.

    As quoted in another thread, A Melb Uni / Latrobe Uni study says that violence is dished out in equal amounts among genders. The severity of injury is the difference.
    You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. ― Epicurus

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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Just when I thought this kids maturity level as an AFL football player was already incredibly outstanding; then I read this article and he becomes my idol. I love his intentions to make society a better place for men and women, for they are both victims of domestic violence. I'm just blown away with the positive vibes that come from the western bulldogs.. A very "peoples" orientated club.. Caring for men's health... Involved with numerous community activities... I'm very proud... And congratulations to bont for choosing to address a very serious concern within our communities.

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  8. #6
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Domestic violence is a huge problem in our society affecting both men and women and it needs to be tackled. Great to see our club get involved in this initiative. Agree with doggy style that our club truly does great things in the community. Whether you live in the heartland or your outside the heartland we are the community club.
    "Footscray people are incredible people; so humble. I'm just so happy - ecstatic"

  9. #7
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Sadly some ( even on here ) trivialise domestic violence .
    Good on Marcus

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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Remi Moses View Post
    Sadly some ( even on here ) trivialise domestic violence .
    Good on Marcus
    To be fair, I feel that people use humour or trivialise issues to help themselves deal with the harsh realities of this world we live in. Not always but sometimes it is a coping mechanism.

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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Maddog37 View Post
    To be fair, I feel that people use humour or trivialise issues to help themselves deal with the harsh realities of this world we live in. Not always but sometimes it is a coping mechanism.
    But is that a coping mechanism, or a head in the sand mechanism? Domestic violence must be called out, not glossed over.
    The Angels have the phone box. Don't blink!

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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Before I Die View Post
    But is that a coping mechanism, or a head in the sand mechanism? Domestic violence must be called out, not glossed over.
    It was a pretty lame attempt of Humour from the poster .
    God it wasn't even funny in a viscous way

  13. #11
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Before I Die View Post
    But is that a coping mechanism, or a head in the sand mechanism? Domestic violence must be called out, not glossed over.
    Please accept that my comment was in no way meant to condone the acceptance of violence in society.

  14. #12
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Remi Moses View Post
    It was a pretty lame attempt of Humour from the poster .
    God it wasn't even funny in a viscous way
    Wow you can spam a point. Even more so when you don't understand what was being discussed.
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    I don't want to get drawn in comments about trivialising DV / tokenism etc.

    From a purely selfish Bulldogs fan POV, hard not to be delighted to have a kid of immense talent combined with such a wonderful attitude.

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  17. #14
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    This is fantastic.

    The opinions on domestic violence in mainstream society are largely disgusting, and too often people with a platform are unable to condemn or vilify certain behaviours because they are massive pussies that are too scared of the backlash they would receive from said society, or, even worse, purport a bullshit victim blaming agenda because it is, again, easier and makes more sense to their tiny brains.

    Congratulations Marcus on being a great person and not a sheep, and thank you for tabling something most are too afraid or stupid to.
    - I'm a visionary - Only here to confirm my biases -

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  19. #15
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    Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

    He certainly has the right attitude and has nailed the correct target.
    I keep trying to get across to some mates that your "playful" comments about women in the kitchen and in general being inferior is part of the big problem. They often can't see the link between the 2

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