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  1. #1
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    A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Bob Murphy

    August 5, 2010
    .
    DRIVING home in the rain from Etihad Stadium on the weekend, my retinas were still recovering from the flashbulbs of photographers eager to get a snap of Our Julia singing our Bulldogs' hymn.

    As tempting as it is to revisit an old column - ''Why club theme songs are so freakin' good'' - I'll resist. Too much of a good thing, and all that.

    With the after-effects of the paparazzi bombardment wearing off as I manoeuvred through the city streets, I slipped past The Drunken Poet, near the Vic Market, and spotted an old acquaintance standing out the front, pint in hand, looking decidedly content with life.

    I met ''The Yak'', as he is affectionately known, this past off-season when I caught up with a good friend at The Poet (Melbourne's best Irish bar and small music venue, bar none). The Yak is an imposing figure - a huge man with a ready smile and a big heart.

    Seeing him again got me thinking about big men and their role in the biggest game in town.

    When I was a kid visiting the school library, if Where's Wally was already taken, my next best option was to get The Guinness Book of World Records. Once I had that oversized book in my hands, I would invariably flick the pages until I came across ''world's tallest man''. I don't know where this fascination started (I'm sure Freud would have a theory), but it blew my tiny mind.

    ''The longer the game goes, the big blokes don't get any smaller.''

    You don't hear this sort of footy wisdom much anymore. Malcolm Blight seems to be the most psychedelic of all modern footy commentators, and I could quite easily imagine him speaking in such tongues.

    Although the footy world gives big blokes a hard time for a whole range of things (stupidity, for one), we do love them and teams don't function without them. Which is why this column is my unofficial ''Ode to the Big Man''.

    Perhaps it was simply a sighting of The Yak, or maybe it was watching Liam Jones making his debut for the Bulldogs earlier that afternoon, that sparked this tribute. It wasn't so long ago that ''promising Bulldogs key forward'' was a cross too heavy for most to bear. Jonesy and Jarrad Grant now seem more than capable of carrying that cross and taking a few grabs at the same time.

    A footballer's debut is a special thing - your life is never the same. All of those nights lying awake, throwing a football towards the ceiling and catching it again, all the time wondering if you could match it in the AFL.

    All footballers have been there in their quieter moments, and then suddenly you're running out, your heart is pumping and you're not sure if your smile will rip your cheeks open, or if you'll vomit. Any debutant will tell you that the shock of how quick the game is played leaves them breathless, and the lactic acid in your legs makes you wonder if they're filled with cement.

    What are the expectations of a debutant? To try their guts out and show a glimpse of what is to come is pretty reasonable, I think. Jonesy ticked those boxes and looked cool and calm as he led, marked and pierced the goals in the last quarter. Good lad.

    It wasn't too long ago that the Bulldogs were seen as a mosquito fleet. Almost overnight we've become the land of the GIANTS. We recruited Big Barry (and isn't he in fine fettle?), and before him, the People's Beard, of course.

    A couple of youngsters, Ayce Cordy and Jordan Roughead, stand two metres tall, and last but not least we have our German exchange student William (pronounced Villiam) Minson. (Is it just me, or does Will look even more gigantic in a Williamstown jumper?)

    I'm a touch over six-foot-one in the old language (186 centimetres), which has me taller than the average geezer, but in my place of work I feel like Arthur at a dog show. My place in the pecking order is highlighted by the fact that I am not a member of Will's Big Man Eating Club.

    Every so often, Villiam gets the big boys together at a restaurant to show them how to eat like a real man. A few of these behemoths are fighting it out for the two ruck spots in the team, and even with my basic maths I'm pretty sure four doesn't go into two. The rivalry on the plate is almost as fierce as the rivalry on the field.

    This week the boys have organised a team dinner out at Craig Parry's Sunshine Golf Club. We midgets have been allowed to join in, which will be a nice treat. To witness these big boys attack a plate is a thing to behold, and I hope ''Popeye's'' caterers know what they're in for.

    They can't kick, they don't play on a man, and they have some bizarre brain snaps on the field, but footy is a world where size really does matter. We little blokes are all the better for having our big friends by our side.

    It is an AFL obsession to want to measure everything via statistics. But what these blokes give a team in spades is presence. Like The Yak out the front of The Poet, these lumbering giants do their best work when it's crowded and loud
    Last edited by bornadog; 05-08-2010 at 05:12 PM.
    FFC: Established 1883

    Premierships: AFL 1954, 2016 VFA - 1898,99,1900, 1908, 1913, 1919-20, 1923-24, VFL: 2014, 2016 . Champions of Victoria 1924. AFLW - 2018.

  2. #2
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Nice one Murph

  3. #3
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Bobby seems in good form lately!

  4. #4
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Did anyone else notice our forward line last week as the land of the giants. At one stage we had Hall, Jones, Grant and Everitt in the forward 50 with Johnno and Gia as the smalls.
    FFC: Established 1883

    Premierships: AFL 1954, 2016 VFA - 1898,99,1900, 1908, 1913, 1919-20, 1923-24, VFL: 2014, 2016 . Champions of Victoria 1924. AFLW - 2018.

  5. #5
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy'sLore View Post
    Bobby seems in good form lately!
    On and off the field!

  6. #6
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Always an interesting read

  7. #7
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    One of his better ones for sure.
    Western Bulldogs: We exist to win premierships

  8. #8
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    He is spot on about the Drunken Poet...great pub!! Tiny, but great atmosphere!! we often drop in after work for a pint or two!!

  9. #9
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    Re: A new tall order as Jonesy enters the land of the giants

    Quote Originally Posted by western monkey View Post
    He is spot on about the Drunken Poet...great pub!! Tiny, but great atmosphere!! we often drop in after work for a pint or two!!
    I'll have a 'arf!

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