Bobs Back

[aker39]

From Smith Street Collingwood to South China, I'm ready to dump on the Magpies
Bob Murphy
February 27, 2011

http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-new...226-1b9ee.html

FOR ME, the 2011 football season began with a single, swift sentence of lunacy.

I was ambling down Smith Street in Collingwood, heading towards last Christmas and The Last Record Store, when hurtling towards me on a bicycle came a gentleman who I think may have been homeless, and was certainly a character.

As he passed me, I heard him yell something over his shoulder. I could tell it had something to do with footy — call it a sixth sense if you like.

Advertisement: Story continues below No sooner had I looked back at one of Smith Street’s finest than he’d jumped off his bike, turned it my way, and was at my side keen to have a walk and a chat. I was happy to make a new friend, and he was kind enough to go in my direction, so off we went.

Footy was the only topic of conversation — he had me pegged as a footballer, no doubt about it.

But pretty soon I realised we were on different trams. It was right about the time he told me: “I knew you boys would get them in the replay!”

We walked and chatted for a few minutes more, and eventually we ran out of footpath. Much to my frustration, I never did work out which Collingwood player I was mistaken for (probably one of the handsome,
youthful ones). Bewildered and chatty, the two of us must have looked quite the pair. We shook hands, said
a quick goodbye, and I was only too happy to hand over my shrapnel toll. I see a lot more sense in this particular toll than the ones that go “beep” in your car. But I’m rambling now, a bit like my Collingwood mate.

So as much as I would love to be sitting here before you as a premiership player, I’m committed to such an honour coming while wearing a Bulldogs jumper. I know I’m supposed to acknowledge the fact that the Pies are the reigning premier and pay them their dues, but this is harder than you might expect. You see, I watched the
incredible events of the drawn grand final like all good footy folk, but when the replay rolled around seven days

later, I was way up above the clouds, flying at speed, bound for South China. Not Hong Kong, but South China ... ya dig? By the time I got back from a month spent in far away lands, the intrigue of the grand final — drawn or otherwise — had faded somewhat.

And as I hadn’t seen any footage of it, I concluded that it must never have happened. I know Collingwood won
it, really I do — I’ve even seen a few pictures of players with medals ’n all that, but I’m just not “feeling” like
anybody won it.

So, what to do in a crisis of this magnitude? “Look to Tattslotto for the answer” is my motto! They would
simply roll it over to 2011 for a gigantic jackpot! Now that really would be a revenue raiser!

Being a realistic kind of guy, I won’t hold my breath waiting for the AFL to come knocking out of interest for my
Footylotto scheme. Bit of a shame.

As football lovers we are in a state of flux at this time of year. We huddle around our like-minded and scarved brethren, and sit in wonder at all the joys the new season will bring, never giving the flipside of that coin a thought, for it hurts us all too much. I encourage you all to sit and wonder once in a while. Let your
hearts run free, I say. I was having blissful thoughts along those lines just recently, when a rather unpleasant
experience snapped me back to reality. I was at a barbecue when a bird flew overhead and shat on me.

“It’s supposed to be good luck,” I was told. The people telling me this were laughing at the time, so I took
those words with a grain of salt.

I never did see what kind of bird it was, but my guess would be a magpie. Perhaps one with a crystal ball who
knew I was going to write this column.

As for the footy this year, well, it won’t jackpot as I had hoped, but it will be played for a prize as tantalising
as ever. I wish most of you good luck with your brethren. Go Dogs.

[Murphy'sLore]

So are they moving Bob's column to Sundays permanently now? Is that a promotion?

[LostDoggy]

So are they moving Bob's column to Sundays permanently now? Is that a promotion?

Who Knows, just rejoice that He's back

[LostDoggy]

Gee, I love the way he writes - yes, I'm glad he is back! And......GO DOGS!!!!

[LostDoggy]

Today's installment

http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-new...323-1c6od.html

How long till Firstdog sharpens his pencils. He was a notable loss towards the end of the season.

[EasternWest]

"all that we wanted to know about footballers could be found on the back of a footy card that smelt of bubble gum."

Gold.

[LostDoggy]

And alas another week has passed and here's a Dachsund free column from Bob Murphy that Jason Akermanis might actually approve of.

Article
IN THE words of Larry David, that was brutal. Who'd have thought the first round of the AFL rollercoaster would be such a steep knee-trembler for the Dogs? Still, we have time on our side, but do we have timing?

We'll come back to that.

It must be footy season again, because the restless nights are back and my feet look like they've been to 'Nam. I find it hard to let go of footy boots; I guess it would be fair to say I get emotionally attached to them.

For the rest click below
http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-new...330-1cgap.html

[Cyberdoggie]

Not one of his better articles.

I think he was still shell shocked from the shallacking to concentrate on substance.

[Sedat]

Not one of his better articles.

I think he was still shell shocked from the shallacking to concentrate on substance.

Anything that quotes Larry David is alright with me. Hopefully Bob can incorporate the phrase "pretty, pretty good" after a win to keep the LD references going

[AndrewP6]

It's not the point of the article, but I'd have thought they'd all get boots supplied!

[bornadog]

Loved the article this week.

[Cyberdoggie]

It's not the point of the article, but I'd have thought they'd all get boots supplied!

I suppose it depends on who is sponsoring the team?

Previously it was always a boot manufacturer such as adidas, nike, reebok, puma etc that made the outfits, and i believe whoever it was would obviously push the bulk of the players to wear their brand of boot.

I remember a few years back pretty much all but 1 of our players were wearing the sponsors boot, except for Chris Grant who had a sponsorship deal with rival adidas. There was a bit of a fuss about it at the time but i think that kind of opened up the doors a bit for players wearing whatever they wanted.

These days we are sponsored by a company that doesn't make boots so perhaps the players have to get their own if they aren't sponsored themselves.

[Sockeye Salmon]

I suppose it depends on who is sponsoring the team?

Previously it was always a boot manufacturer such as adidas, nike, reebok, puma etc that made the outfits, and i believe whoever it was would obviously push the bulk of the players to wear their brand of boot.

I remember a few years back pretty much all but 1 of our players were wearing the sponsors boot, except for Chris Grant who had a sponsorship deal with rival adidas. There was a bit of a fuss about it at the time but i think that kind of opened up the doors a bit for players wearing whatever they wanted.

These days we are sponsored by a company that doesn't make boots so perhaps the players have to get their own if they aren't sponsored themselves.

Koutafides did a deal with Nike when Carlton had a contract with someone else and there as a bit of a shitstorm at the time. After that it became a free-for-all.

[bornadog]

I suppose it depends on who is sponsoring the team?

Previously it was always a boot manufacturer such as adidas, nike, reebok, puma etc that made the outfits, and i believe whoever it was would obviously push the bulk of the players to wear their brand of boot.

I remember a few years back pretty much all but 1 of our players were wearing the sponsors boot, except for Chris Grant who had a sponsorship deal with rival adidas. There was a bit of a fuss about it at the time but i think that kind of opened up the doors a bit for players wearing whatever they wanted.

These days we are sponsored by a company that doesn't make boots so perhaps the players have to get their own if they aren't sponsored themselves.

Here is a good story on boots

The day Ted Whitten threw a pink fit


Dermott Brereton

BACK in the late '80s, while picking up fluoro green footy boots from the late, great Ted Whitten, he handed me a second adidas shoebox.
He had that cheeky Whitten smile and a sparkle in his eye in anticipation of what my reply to the second box might be.

I presumed it was just a second pair of the same boots, so I accepted the box with thanks and tucked it under my arm. Teddy's smile vanished and he bellowed at me to open the second box.

To my surprise, amusement and horror, in the box was an exquisite pair of hand-made fluoro pink football boots.

They were ghastly and gaudy, yet they were hilarious.

I immediately thought, "Play well with these on and you are going to make a lot of fun out of any opponent who can't find me out on a field".

To wear them would be to make a mockery of all traditional football dress sense. Teddy agreed with all my ludicrous thoughts.

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But then I had the rather large bridge to cross of wearing them

in a team coached by the conservative former copper, Allan Jeans.

Ted guaranteed me that he would talk to Jeans and square it off with him.

He assured me "Yabby" would understand it was only a marketing ploy and that it would have no effect on my form.

For a good half an hour, Ted sold me the positives of wearing the pink boots before I was eventually on my way.

Packed in my bag along with my regular boots, I took those pink boots to four games in a row.

I didn't have the courage to put them on in front of Jeans and play in his team with them on my feet.

Yabby would be uptight and vocally aggressive before every match and I couldn't bring myself to provoke him further.

He had chastised me when I first wore the green boots, what was he going to think if he caught me running out with fluoro pink boots?

Every week, Ted would phone me and ask me if I was right to wear them the next weekend. I kept telling Ted that I needed to wait for the right game.

That would placate Ted for a little while and he'd sign off saying: "They're only football boots for Christ's sake. What harm can it do?"

State-of-Origin - Victoria versus South Australia - eventually came around on the football calendar and I managed to steer clear of the niggly little injuries I always seemed to get before those matches.

I was fully kitted up in the Big V guernsey and sitting in front of my locker before the big match at Adelaide's Football Park.

With no Jeans to negotiate at this stage, I pulled on my brand new pair of fluorescent pink adidas boots.

I was in the process of doing up the laces when I heard Mr Football, Ted Whitten, bellow from a few metres away.

He crashed his way through trainers, statisticians, league staff and whoever else had made the journey at the league's expense.

As he got closer he yelled: "What the hell do you think you're doing? Over my dead body are you going to play for Victoria in them."

The sales pitch, the would-be logic and the rhetoric Ted displayed for his pink boots were no match for the passion and the respect with which he held the Big V.

[LostDoggy]

What's Murphs' form like this year? The only thing I remember from Round 1 (haven't downloaded Round 2 yet) is a burst from half-back in the last quarter. Is he up and going? He's probably our most skilful player, and a fit and in-form Murph could be the difference between us being a good and a great side this year. He is also a match-winner on his day.