Ban ChickFlix now!

[Dry Rot]

Our new Federal govt is reviewing access to porn sites and violent video games. They may re-classify them or ban them all together as a scourge on Australian society.

IMO, they are barking up the wrong tree. The real problem in Australian society, or at least for half of it, are ChickFlix. They should be banned, now.

Why?

They are causing depression, embarrassment and boredom across Australian society and breaking up Australian working families. Unreleased research from BeyondBlue which has fallen into my possession shows that ChickFlix cause depression in about 50% of the population.

How has it come to this?

There has probably always been ChickFlix from at least the late nineteen thirties, and savvy young men have known that taking a date to a ChickFlix or two will result in sex, no matter what their personal sacrifice in watching this drivel.

Fast forward to recent times, and we are bombarded with emotional lemons like When Harry met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Four Weddings and a Funeral and various Bridget Jones and her dull diaries. And don't forget the bloody soundtracks!

It isn't too late to stop this rot in Australia and I trust that everyone on WOOF will join me on this important crusade.

Ban ChickFlix now!

[Twodogs]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

ChickFlix are a blight on our modern entertainment industry. Sandra Bullock, or as Frank Cosntanza calls her "That woman in the bus film" should be first against the wall when the glorious revolution comes.


Signed member #2 of the yet to be named anti chickflix collective.

[LostDoggy]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Pretty Woman is my favourite film

[Dry Rot]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Pretty Woman is my favourite film

I knew you were looking for romance with that old woman at Star City Casino.

[hujsh]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Sylvester Stallone will be incharge of ensureing at least one explosion is in every non-comedy

[LostDoggy]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

While they ban Chickflix that make T&A films complusory viewing.
All teenagers must watch classics like Animal House, Bikini Shop, Meatballs, Revenge of the Nerds, etc.

[Sockeye Salmon]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

I think that to keep everyone happy, they should add porn into Chickflix.

Would Notting Hill be more watchable if you get to see Hugh Grant bone Julia Roberts?

[Mofra]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Would Notting Hill be more watchable if you get to see Hugh Grant bone Julia Roberts?

Yeah - the English have a reputation for their bedroom ability

I agree with the premise of the thread, but may be a little hard to start in practice. If we can somehow get Matthew Modine on the terrorism register as a "person of interest" we could have 30-40% of chick flicks banned overnight.

[Twodogs]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

I think that to keep everyone happy, they should add porn into Chickflix.

Would Notting Hill be more watchable if you get to see Hugh Grant bone Julia Roberts?

I can see a whole new sub-genre being created here.

[Dry Rot]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Chick Flicks are bad for you - here's proof:

The big sleep ends in the big break up

5:00AM Sunday March 09, 2008
By Alice Hudson

His peeved fiancee left him in the movie theatre when he fell asleep during chick flick P.S. I Love You. Now 18-year-old Tim Roberts, who was left trapped in a cinema until 3am on Friday - resulting in him setting off fire alarms and attracting the police - has revealed, sadly, that he's no longer engaged.

Speaking exclusively to the Herald on Sunday yesterday, self-employed Christchurch courier driver Roberts said his late-night ordeal wasn't the first time he'd been dragged along to a "chick flick".

"I just basically go where I'm told," he said.

Roberts had met his 27-year-old fiancee at the theatre on Thursday night after working a 14-hour day, going for a run, and having a big roast dinner with his parents. He says he lasted about half an hour in the cinema before passing out cold.

"The movie wasn't actually too bad but I was so tired I just couldn't help myself."

"It was actually my idea to go to the movies," he said, before adding, "but she picked it."

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After he nodded off and the credits rolled, his unhappy fiancee left without so much as tipping popcorn on his head to wake him.

"I started to wake up and realised the chair I was in wasn't the La-Z-Boy at home," Roberts recounted. "I looked around and thought, 'Oh s***, have I even left the cinema?'."

Seeing bright red, very empty seats around him, plus a giant blank screen in front, Roberts was just reaching for his cellphone to check the time when it rang - for the 18th time that night. It was his mother, phoning to say the police were looking for him.

"I got up, managed to walk out of the cinema, got into the foyer, and then the alarms started going off."

He yelled out to a cleaner, through the cinema complex's locked roller doors, to "please get security".

Five minutes later, a couple of bemused police officers showed up. They offered to find the master key, but, to save time, Roberts offered to use the fire escape and meet the officers at the back of the theatre.

One of the officers handed his torch through the grate, and the still sleepy Roberts began "running around the cinema, looking for the exit".

"Every door I went through set off another alarm," he said. "It was loud. This horrible, ear-piercing, screeching sound," he said.

Finally spotting the outside fire escape, he made his way down three flights of stairs, only to be greeted by flashing lights and a different police officer demanding to know exactly what he was doing at a mall after hours, setting off alarms and carrying a police-issued torch.

Did the police see the funny side? "Kind of. They were very interested in what kind of movie we went to."

On Friday, the day after the incident, Roberts and his fiancee "mutually" decided to call it quits.

He said she had called police and his parents after waking at 3am to find he hadn't made it home.

Asked who had been angry at whom Roberts said: "It's still a bit tender on both sides."

The two-year relationship now over, Roberts is focusing on work - and sleep. He and his former partner would "hopefully" remain friends.

"I wish her all the best for the future. Things just weren't going the way we wanted them to. I have a really bad tendency to fall asleep."

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10497010

[hujsh]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Good thing he didn't marry her.

[Mofra]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Of course there was no happy ending for them - it wasn't a ckick flick

[hujsh]

Re: Ban ChickFlix now!

Of course there was no happy ending for them - it wasn't a ckick flick

Ironnnny