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So over the weekend, two notable things happened to our footy club:
1. We kicked the absolute shit out of Port in front of a mountain of dirt, two BPs and less than 1/10th of our membership base; and
2. Some wanker called "Bailey Smith" who I'm told used to play for us went on national TV and called us brokies for doing so.
What is worst of all about this is Baz is right. What should have been a crushing endorsement for our outstanding excellence instead looked like highlights from the highest standard VAFA clubbies game ever played. We have another game scheduled at Ballarat for later this year ("scheduled" used as loosely as possible) that absolutely cannot go ahead given the state of the ground. Given that the AFL is perfectly willing to play games at grounds with sub-standard capacities that are wholly exposed to the elements, I have a much, much better idea. At this point, we've seen games played on purpose-built grounds (Barossa), twos grounds (Norwood), rural grounds (Alice), and fake grounds (GMHBA), so why can't we, one time, just because it would be cool as hell and a much, much better option, play at Whitten Oval.
I expect that you are probably thinking one of the following:
But there's a contract in place where they give us a bunch of money?
Despite my best efforts I'm not an expert in contract law, but I would guess that the following are each sides' essential terms:
Ballarat - promotion of the City of Ballarat, support to grass roots level, increased tourist spending (and I guess the actual game happening)
Us - getting to play in front of a proper crowd and not 5-10 construction workers trying to get on TV, $750k per game
I know that moving the game would drive literal tourists away from the area and to, well, Footscray, but they've already cut that in half themselves through redevelopment. But realistically, that's a very small part of it. What should be a much bigger deal is the TV audience, whose (assumedly) only exposure to Ballarat in a given year would be the two games at Mars they watch from home. If I'm contemplating spending some time in regional Victoria, is seeing a mud pit and two servos really going to push me to Ballarat? It's probably just going to make me make fun of it on the internet (or while I'm being interviewed after a game at the MCG).
I don't think it's farfetched to say this game, in its current form, is doing more damage to Ballarat than it is good. There's no reason that the area can't still be promoted from Whitten Oval. There's signage all around the ground that can have CITY OF BALLARAT ITS GOOD WE PROMISE plastered on it. Tim English and Bailey Dale can still do horrible scripted trivia videos on socials. We can still actually go to Ballarat and run clinics the week of the game. That's the stuff that's actually going to be helping, not half the amount of people that should be going sitting in a windswept dirt pit comparing the prices of unleaded between the BPs.
On our end - I'm obviously not saying this from a place of knowledge but there's a legitimate argument that we aren't getting performance on the contract by having the gate takings halved, but surely it wouldn't have to be messy. All I've heard from anyone involved is how great this has been for the local area, so I'm assuming that our working relationship is good enough to ask for it to be put on pause for one day. If it's solely about the money then just don't take it from them; we all know we're making that much back at least if we get to keep 100% of what we bring in at the moved game.
The AFL is a billion dollar organisation, they are too tightly and efficiently run and can't just move a scheduled game at the last minute because it's a cool idea
Firstly that's very cute. Secondly, let me gesture broadly to the entire 2020 and 2021 seasons, when the AFL was perfectly capable of moving not just pretty much every game but also the entire playing and coaching staffs from every team multiple times interstate at the drop of a hat.
This game doesn't even have a scheduled date yet. Of course the AFL can move it.
The Crows will never go for it, it's far too much of an unfair advantage
Oh you mean the same Crows who get an extra home game for free every year for some reason? Yeah nah piss off. Worst case, the AFL can just write them another apology letter.
If we move the game to Whitten Oval then everyone will just want games there, no one will ever get behind Ballarat and will only see it as a cash grab
Brother I've got news for you - I already do want games at Whitten, already won't get behind Ballarat and already do see it as a cash grab. And that's fine! We're all well aware how close this club has come to extinction in recent memory, and I think we're at least begrudgingly accepting of the need for deals like Ballarat to stay above water. It's a million times better than Canberra, Brisbane or Darwin and for that I truly am grateful, but we can't let this chance slip for the promise of something that will never, ever happen.
You might be aware but this is the 100th anniversary of our admission into the VFL. We already had that one celebration where, in a fitting tribute to the circumstances of our entry to the competition and general performance since admission, we participated in a fixed game and lost. But a true celebration of 100 years isn't complete without a return home. We could also make it special to the location rather than just trotting out the same legends again. We could invite Michael Gardiner back and have Tony Liberatore chase him into the rooms. We could have Mark Arceri stand around for 90 minutes and then kick a goal. Gubby Allen could try one more switch kick. But most importantly, if we really go all out with it, really market it and make it the big deal it should be, I think we're all mature enough to recognise it as something special, and something that's only come about because of a very particular set of circumstances.
And if (when) if it works? I promise I will still go or at very least think about going to Ballarat twice a year. Who says it would have to replace a Ballarat game anyway? We've got the Giants at Marvel later this year, imagine playing those shitheads at Whitten in 2026?
---
I know it won't happen, but it makes all the sense in the world to at least shake the tree. Baz is right, we're never (ignoring the fact that we actually did get 80k to a game this year at the MCG and it was actually our home game Bailey you stupid prick) going to draw big crowds to big games at venues we never play at. But getting to play a real home game at our real home ground could really set us apart from the rest of the competition, and we've had the shittiest of stars align to give us the perfect opportunity to prove that we, the last real football club, can make it work. Tell me that there aren't a bunch of guys in the AFL, and in particular one at Port Adelaide, that aren't still such footy nuffs that they wouldn't want to play in that game. No matter how much money the government gives them to build the Cameron Ling Interchange Benches or whatever you will never be able to get that shit at Geelong, or anywhere else for that matter.
My first ever game was the last game at Whitten Oval. I still have the remanence of a t-shirt from that day with the grammatically fitting "Dog's vs Eagle's" on the front that I wore until all of the fibres in the neckline evaporated into the atmosphere, and can remember more rain falling on that day than from any other day of my life, but can't remember any of the actual game. I've wanted games back at Whitten Oval for as long as I've been sentient, and there's no reason why it can't happen now.
Ameet, Kylie, bang my line. Let's work this out.
1. We kicked the absolute shit out of Port in front of a mountain of dirt, two BPs and less than 1/10th of our membership base; and
2. Some wanker called "Bailey Smith" who I'm told used to play for us went on national TV and called us brokies for doing so.
What is worst of all about this is Baz is right. What should have been a crushing endorsement for our outstanding excellence instead looked like highlights from the highest standard VAFA clubbies game ever played. We have another game scheduled at Ballarat for later this year ("scheduled" used as loosely as possible) that absolutely cannot go ahead given the state of the ground. Given that the AFL is perfectly willing to play games at grounds with sub-standard capacities that are wholly exposed to the elements, I have a much, much better idea. At this point, we've seen games played on purpose-built grounds (Barossa), twos grounds (Norwood), rural grounds (Alice), and fake grounds (GMHBA), so why can't we, one time, just because it would be cool as hell and a much, much better option, play at Whitten Oval.
I expect that you are probably thinking one of the following:
But there's a contract in place where they give us a bunch of money?
Despite my best efforts I'm not an expert in contract law, but I would guess that the following are each sides' essential terms:
Ballarat - promotion of the City of Ballarat, support to grass roots level, increased tourist spending (and I guess the actual game happening)
Us - getting to play in front of a proper crowd and not 5-10 construction workers trying to get on TV, $750k per game
I know that moving the game would drive literal tourists away from the area and to, well, Footscray, but they've already cut that in half themselves through redevelopment. But realistically, that's a very small part of it. What should be a much bigger deal is the TV audience, whose (assumedly) only exposure to Ballarat in a given year would be the two games at Mars they watch from home. If I'm contemplating spending some time in regional Victoria, is seeing a mud pit and two servos really going to push me to Ballarat? It's probably just going to make me make fun of it on the internet (or while I'm being interviewed after a game at the MCG).
I don't think it's farfetched to say this game, in its current form, is doing more damage to Ballarat than it is good. There's no reason that the area can't still be promoted from Whitten Oval. There's signage all around the ground that can have CITY OF BALLARAT ITS GOOD WE PROMISE plastered on it. Tim English and Bailey Dale can still do horrible scripted trivia videos on socials. We can still actually go to Ballarat and run clinics the week of the game. That's the stuff that's actually going to be helping, not half the amount of people that should be going sitting in a windswept dirt pit comparing the prices of unleaded between the BPs.
On our end - I'm obviously not saying this from a place of knowledge but there's a legitimate argument that we aren't getting performance on the contract by having the gate takings halved, but surely it wouldn't have to be messy. All I've heard from anyone involved is how great this has been for the local area, so I'm assuming that our working relationship is good enough to ask for it to be put on pause for one day. If it's solely about the money then just don't take it from them; we all know we're making that much back at least if we get to keep 100% of what we bring in at the moved game.
The AFL is a billion dollar organisation, they are too tightly and efficiently run and can't just move a scheduled game at the last minute because it's a cool idea
Firstly that's very cute. Secondly, let me gesture broadly to the entire 2020 and 2021 seasons, when the AFL was perfectly capable of moving not just pretty much every game but also the entire playing and coaching staffs from every team multiple times interstate at the drop of a hat.
This game doesn't even have a scheduled date yet. Of course the AFL can move it.
The Crows will never go for it, it's far too much of an unfair advantage
Oh you mean the same Crows who get an extra home game for free every year for some reason? Yeah nah piss off. Worst case, the AFL can just write them another apology letter.
If we move the game to Whitten Oval then everyone will just want games there, no one will ever get behind Ballarat and will only see it as a cash grab
Brother I've got news for you - I already do want games at Whitten, already won't get behind Ballarat and already do see it as a cash grab. And that's fine! We're all well aware how close this club has come to extinction in recent memory, and I think we're at least begrudgingly accepting of the need for deals like Ballarat to stay above water. It's a million times better than Canberra, Brisbane or Darwin and for that I truly am grateful, but we can't let this chance slip for the promise of something that will never, ever happen.
You might be aware but this is the 100th anniversary of our admission into the VFL. We already had that one celebration where, in a fitting tribute to the circumstances of our entry to the competition and general performance since admission, we participated in a fixed game and lost. But a true celebration of 100 years isn't complete without a return home. We could also make it special to the location rather than just trotting out the same legends again. We could invite Michael Gardiner back and have Tony Liberatore chase him into the rooms. We could have Mark Arceri stand around for 90 minutes and then kick a goal. Gubby Allen could try one more switch kick. But most importantly, if we really go all out with it, really market it and make it the big deal it should be, I think we're all mature enough to recognise it as something special, and something that's only come about because of a very particular set of circumstances.
And if (when) if it works? I promise I will still go or at very least think about going to Ballarat twice a year. Who says it would have to replace a Ballarat game anyway? We've got the Giants at Marvel later this year, imagine playing those shitheads at Whitten in 2026?
---
I know it won't happen, but it makes all the sense in the world to at least shake the tree. Baz is right, we're never (ignoring the fact that we actually did get 80k to a game this year at the MCG and it was actually our home game Bailey you stupid prick) going to draw big crowds to big games at venues we never play at. But getting to play a real home game at our real home ground could really set us apart from the rest of the competition, and we've had the shittiest of stars align to give us the perfect opportunity to prove that we, the last real football club, can make it work. Tell me that there aren't a bunch of guys in the AFL, and in particular one at Port Adelaide, that aren't still such footy nuffs that they wouldn't want to play in that game. No matter how much money the government gives them to build the Cameron Ling Interchange Benches or whatever you will never be able to get that shit at Geelong, or anywhere else for that matter.
My first ever game was the last game at Whitten Oval. I still have the remanence of a t-shirt from that day with the grammatically fitting "Dog's vs Eagle's" on the front that I wore until all of the fibres in the neckline evaporated into the atmosphere, and can remember more rain falling on that day than from any other day of my life, but can't remember any of the actual game. I've wanted games back at Whitten Oval for as long as I've been sentient, and there's no reason why it can't happen now.
Ameet, Kylie, bang my line. Let's work this out.
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