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ROUND 20 PREVIEW
Season so far
Footscray:
Same old, same old. Since winning their last flag more than half a century ago, the Bulldogs have made the top four a handful of times and a preliminary final most of those times. However, the Dogs have never looked like the dominant team in any of those 50-odd seasons (apart from maybe 1985 and 1997), and this season has been no different, coming behind the clear top two for the second year in a row, disappointingly being leapfrogged in the pecking order by a rejuvenated St Kilda after Hawthorn dropped away (after winning a premiership, mind you). After the highlight of the season in flogging the Hawks in Round Sometime-Last-Month, the Bulldogs’ form has tapered right off, unimpressive wins against Fremantle and Essendon alternating with losses against Collingwood, the Saints, and most ignominiously, a West Coast Eagles side that hadn’t won in their past 6300 attempts on the road and entrenched firmly in the bottom four.
Only crappier performances by teams all around them (hey! the draft/salary cap must be working) has ensured that they are left clinging to fourth spot by the skin of their teeth. Three tough assignments to finish the season off loom in the coming weeks, beginning with this weekend against a mercurial Lions team at the Gabba. Must-win game to: (a) stay in the top 4, (b) maintain some semblance of form come finals, and (c) not suck.
Injuries: Higgins, Murphy, Giansiracusa, Welsh
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Fitzroy/Brisbane:
Ever since pissing away their tenancy at the Whitten Oval towards the end of the 20th century, the Lions have gone on to a storied decade of existence, moving up north to crossbreed with an impotent bear, bringing the greatest player of all time on board as head coach, and making it all the way to the final weekend of September four times in a row, winning three of those, then promptly kicking their coolest and noisiest player off their list, thus ending an era that will forever be remembered as ‘the Aker years’.
After looking bored for the last three seasons after listening to Lethal one time too many, and without a loudmouth in the dressing room to piss them off/spur them on to greater things, something had to give, so the Board kicked out Matthews Snr and installed Matthews Jnr aka ‘Vossy’ to ‘lead them into the 21st century’ and VOILA, it seems to have worked a treat. The Lions will play finals for the first time this year since their last appearance in a Grand Final.
The Lions currently sit 5th on the ladder, only two points behind the Dogs, and will play to leapfrog their opponents into the top four. Not coming off any great form either though.. although they did beat an undermanned Geelong in Round 15.
Injuries: heaps of guys but no one anyone cares about. Oh, except Rhan Hooper and Bradshaw, both who should be available. Tease.
Last Time They Met:
Last year at the Gabba --
Lions 13.9 90
Dogs 10.14 79
Key Players
Footscray:
This is WOOF, the nerve centre of everything Doggie-related. You tell me. And anyone who says Eagleton, Hahn or Hill should be taken out the back and tickled.
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Fitzroy/Brisbane:
Danothan Brownshaw – Every Bulldog supporter's wet dream, if they were playing in the Red, White and Blue. This two-headed monster is the anti-thesis of the Dogs’ forwardline – while we like it small and mobile (or medium sized and immobile, in the case of Welsh and Hahn), Brownshaw are twin-tower focal points that are a living tactical thesis, polarising opinion on whether two big-bodied, strong-marking, heavy-scoring forwards are a blessing or a curse. The irony is, when they score heaps and no one else does, the Lions often lose, but when they don’t score but everyone else does, the Lions win. Or, if it was last week, they don’t do anything all day and then score after the final siren, and the Lions draw. Go figure.
Lake and Williams to do the job (with no real plan B other than to ask Dale Morris and Ryan Hargrave to play out of their weight division yet again.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. sorry for laughing, I thought I heard someone say Everitt).
Blackie and the Chain-Gang – Simon Black may be the most underrated ‘outside’ footballer, or the most overrated ‘inside’ player, in the history of the AFL. Everyone knows he can find the pill and use it, but he’s been ably supported by a cast of thousands this year. Vossy seems determined to recreate the effect of having himself in the middle by rotating a multitude of players through the middle, some who even look like midfielders (ie. Luke Power).
Boyd/Cross usually nominally go up against the Blacks of the world, Picken (if named) will pick up the likes of Power. Rischitelli and the like will just have to go head to head with Griffen and co. Stiller to tag Cooney, probably.
The X-Factor aka Jared Brennan aka Deadpool – this guy thinks he’s cooler than he is. Someone should just rip his arms off.
Richie Rich – With hindsight, everyone is saying that Daniel Rich should have gone number 1 in the draft, but look, an overdeveloped thyroid does not a great player make. Sure he’s outshone all the other rookies by the width of the Bass Strait, but enough with the ‘ready-made player’ stuff already. We get that he ‘played with adults’ last year, but apart from sounding vaguely pornographic, that simply guarantees that his biceps look nice.. the Nic Nats of the world may yet overtake him in years to come.
Having said that, has had a nice first year and will be interesting to see if Callan Ward sits on his head.
Other stuff:
Just for fun:
Some Aker magic vs. the Lions:
Season so far
Footscray:
Same old, same old. Since winning their last flag more than half a century ago, the Bulldogs have made the top four a handful of times and a preliminary final most of those times. However, the Dogs have never looked like the dominant team in any of those 50-odd seasons (apart from maybe 1985 and 1997), and this season has been no different, coming behind the clear top two for the second year in a row, disappointingly being leapfrogged in the pecking order by a rejuvenated St Kilda after Hawthorn dropped away (after winning a premiership, mind you). After the highlight of the season in flogging the Hawks in Round Sometime-Last-Month, the Bulldogs’ form has tapered right off, unimpressive wins against Fremantle and Essendon alternating with losses against Collingwood, the Saints, and most ignominiously, a West Coast Eagles side that hadn’t won in their past 6300 attempts on the road and entrenched firmly in the bottom four.
Only crappier performances by teams all around them (hey! the draft/salary cap must be working) has ensured that they are left clinging to fourth spot by the skin of their teeth. Three tough assignments to finish the season off loom in the coming weeks, beginning with this weekend against a mercurial Lions team at the Gabba. Must-win game to: (a) stay in the top 4, (b) maintain some semblance of form come finals, and (c) not suck.
Injuries: Higgins, Murphy, Giansiracusa, Welsh
---
Fitzroy/Brisbane:
Ever since pissing away their tenancy at the Whitten Oval towards the end of the 20th century, the Lions have gone on to a storied decade of existence, moving up north to crossbreed with an impotent bear, bringing the greatest player of all time on board as head coach, and making it all the way to the final weekend of September four times in a row, winning three of those, then promptly kicking their coolest and noisiest player off their list, thus ending an era that will forever be remembered as ‘the Aker years’.
After looking bored for the last three seasons after listening to Lethal one time too many, and without a loudmouth in the dressing room to piss them off/spur them on to greater things, something had to give, so the Board kicked out Matthews Snr and installed Matthews Jnr aka ‘Vossy’ to ‘lead them into the 21st century’ and VOILA, it seems to have worked a treat. The Lions will play finals for the first time this year since their last appearance in a Grand Final.
The Lions currently sit 5th on the ladder, only two points behind the Dogs, and will play to leapfrog their opponents into the top four. Not coming off any great form either though.. although they did beat an undermanned Geelong in Round 15.
Injuries: heaps of guys but no one anyone cares about. Oh, except Rhan Hooper and Bradshaw, both who should be available. Tease.
Last Time They Met:
Last year at the Gabba --
Lions 13.9 90
Dogs 10.14 79
Key Players
Footscray:
This is WOOF, the nerve centre of everything Doggie-related. You tell me. And anyone who says Eagleton, Hahn or Hill should be taken out the back and tickled.
---
Fitzroy/Brisbane:
Danothan Brownshaw – Every Bulldog supporter's wet dream, if they were playing in the Red, White and Blue. This two-headed monster is the anti-thesis of the Dogs’ forwardline – while we like it small and mobile (or medium sized and immobile, in the case of Welsh and Hahn), Brownshaw are twin-tower focal points that are a living tactical thesis, polarising opinion on whether two big-bodied, strong-marking, heavy-scoring forwards are a blessing or a curse. The irony is, when they score heaps and no one else does, the Lions often lose, but when they don’t score but everyone else does, the Lions win. Or, if it was last week, they don’t do anything all day and then score after the final siren, and the Lions draw. Go figure.
Lake and Williams to do the job (with no real plan B other than to ask Dale Morris and Ryan Hargrave to play out of their weight division yet again.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. sorry for laughing, I thought I heard someone say Everitt).
Blackie and the Chain-Gang – Simon Black may be the most underrated ‘outside’ footballer, or the most overrated ‘inside’ player, in the history of the AFL. Everyone knows he can find the pill and use it, but he’s been ably supported by a cast of thousands this year. Vossy seems determined to recreate the effect of having himself in the middle by rotating a multitude of players through the middle, some who even look like midfielders (ie. Luke Power).
Boyd/Cross usually nominally go up against the Blacks of the world, Picken (if named) will pick up the likes of Power. Rischitelli and the like will just have to go head to head with Griffen and co. Stiller to tag Cooney, probably.
The X-Factor aka Jared Brennan aka Deadpool – this guy thinks he’s cooler than he is. Someone should just rip his arms off.
Richie Rich – With hindsight, everyone is saying that Daniel Rich should have gone number 1 in the draft, but look, an overdeveloped thyroid does not a great player make. Sure he’s outshone all the other rookies by the width of the Bass Strait, but enough with the ‘ready-made player’ stuff already. We get that he ‘played with adults’ last year, but apart from sounding vaguely pornographic, that simply guarantees that his biceps look nice.. the Nic Nats of the world may yet overtake him in years to come.
Having said that, has had a nice first year and will be interesting to see if Callan Ward sits on his head.
Other stuff:
- Rocket just resigned, so it looks like we won’t have a coach on the weekend... oh wait, that should read Rocket’s re-signed with the Dogs, so it looks like we’re stuck with him a little while longer. English is a funny language is it not.
- Vossy’s won three premierships as a player, zero as a coach, Rocket’s won four premierships as a player, zero as a coach (from one Grand Final attempt).
- Aker’s also won three premierships as a player, and would love to shove it up Vossy’s a... (what? What do you mean this is a family site..)
- Guy O’ Keefe will be making his debut this weekend, replacing Nathan Eagleton after a month (a career?) of being shithouse. Nah, just kidding. August Fool!
Just for fun:
Some Aker magic vs. the Lions:
awesome preview lantern...very amusing indeed....LOVED IT!! but like bulldogtragic said....the winner is?
Let's hope the boys draw that line in the sand (yet again) and pull their combined fingers out!
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