Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

[jeemak]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

BID54, I do appreciate the spirit of the post you put forward and its overall message to an extent.

However, if the resources you suggest victims turn to are not available, and the police or statutory services aren't up to scratch then victims irrespective of any empowerment they may feel are going to be immediately let down and likely to re-enter the cycle from which they are attempting to escape.

Regions of low socio-economic circumstance don't have the statutory policing and support services available to them. There is genuinely no outlet for them. They can't afford to move, they don't have anyone to talk to about their situation and they don't have any escape.

This is the issue at hand. Irrespective of all the advice we can provide to victims, there is in some (if not, many) circumstances no recourse they can take to improve their respective situations. This is why it's so important we change the culture of our society and impress upon people abusing peers, loved ones, strangers and everyone else who doesn't fit into these categories that abusive behaviour is first and foremost unacceptable.

[Ghost Dog]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

BID54, I do appreciate the spirit of the post you put forward and its overall message to an extent.

However, if the resources you suggest victims turn to are not available, and the police or statutory services aren't up to scratch then victims irrespective of any empowerment they may feel are going to be immediately let down and likely to re-enter the cycle from which they are attempting to escape.

Regions of low socio-economic circumstance don't have the statutory policing and support services available to them. There is genuinely no outlet for them. They can't afford to move, they don't have anyone to talk to about their situation and they don't have any escape.

This is the issue at hand. Irrespective of all the advice we can provide to victims, there is in some (if not, many) circumstances no recourse they can take to improve their respective situations. This is why it's so important we change the culture of our society and impress upon people abusing peers, loved ones, strangers and everyone else who doesn't fit into these categories that abusive behaviour is first and foremost unacceptable.

I know in Northern Queensland, they brought in some Cuban educators to do a literacy drive. The idea was 'whole community' approach to the problem. It was and is highly successful as a program.
Community bonds tend to be weaker in suburban areas. People often don't know who their neighbours are. Perhaps once people lived closer to each other and inter-community bonds were stronger. There were various clubs and ways to interact ( small shops ).
Now everyone has aircon, internet, and a flatscreen TV.
There is something weak about a man who has to resort to violence against a woman. But really, it reflects a weakness in greater society. I wouldn't say it's necessarily linked to the decline of religion. But it might have something to do with a lack of community spirit, mixed with the trend to objectify women.

[LostDoggy]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

I know in Northern Queensland, they brought in some Cuban educators to do a literacy drive. The idea was 'whole community' approach to the problem. It was and is highly successful as a program.
Community bonds tend to be weaker in suburban areas. People often don't know who their neighbours are. Perhaps once people lived closer to each other and inter-community bonds were stronger. There were various clubs and ways to interact ( small shops ).
Now everyone has aircon, internet, and a flatscreen TV.
There is something weak about a man who has to resort to violence against a woman. But really, it reflects a weakness in greater society. I wouldn't say it's necessarily linked to the decline of religion. But it might have something to do with a lack of community spirit, mixed with the trend to objectify women.

I agree with a lot of that. In concert with that, extended families (grown siblings and cousins) tend not to live in close proximity anymore, which can add to the sense of isolation and disconnection. This can also make an abused person feel hopeless and trapped and less likely to hold their abuser to account as soon as they should.

[Bornadog]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

There is something weak about a man who has to resort to violence

Edited for accuracy.

[BornInDroopSt'54]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

This is why it's so important we ... impress upon people ... that abusive behaviour is first and foremost unacceptable.

This is the critical thing, that it is clearly known. An advertising campaign would work.

[bulldogtragic]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

This is the critical thing, that it is clearly known. An advertising campaign would work.

I'm not sure I agree. Having been called to 100+ domestic disputes there are many reasons. Kids, pride or refusing to accept the love of your life is a violent scumbag. Some reasons defy logic, if your world centres around someone and you feel you lose your reason to survive you won't leave. If you believe they really love and this is just a flaws that requires patience or forgiveness you won't leave. If you fear them or retribution you may not leave. If you have nowhere to go you won't leave. If you have attachment or ego, you may not leave. If your mum, her mum, her mum, her mum, her mum were abused and your born into cyclical domestic abuse and/or sexual assault you won't leave. If your partner psychologically imprispns you, you won't leave. If your partner can withdraw all money from you, you can't leave. If there's threats against kids, you may not leave.

My DNA doesn't enjoy watching or committing violence in any way shape or form, but when an abusive wife beater tried to take on me or former colleagues, if I'm really honest, there was a tiny, tiny bit of satisfaction after the fact (somewhere from my caveman ancestor) in responding with such legitimate force not disproportionate to the objective to stop a violent wife beater trying to attack us and/or effect a lawful arrest. As another poster pointed out, they're gutless dogs who cant fight someone of their own size and gender so they bash defenceless women. Taking them to court on charges as a wife beater and making them front Magistrates was more satisfying. Perhaps like a The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, we could tattoo wife beater on their foreheads so the next woman they hope to bash has ample warning not to have a relationship with them.

More realistically, I'm not sure ads can really address this problem and risks further slaktivism. It's such a complex, complex problem that I'd rather see money spent at the coal face and not on rolling advertising or repeated investigations by politicians etc. - Einstein famously declared you can't solve problems with the same thinking you used when you made the problems. This needs new thinking and actual change. Our CEO said at the White Ribbon event a few weeks ago there were over 9,000 reported assaults in the Western Suburbs in the year to date. The problem is so big and to be honest, I don't see enough political resolve to spend the money to make the changes needed. I can only hope this changes, but forgive me for not holding my breath.

[BornInDroopSt'54]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

...forgive me for not holding my breath.

I'll get back to you. Merry Christmas.

[Ghost Dog]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

Edited for accuracy.

Thanks for that. You are 100% correct.

This is the critical thing, that it is clearly known. An advertising campaign would work.

Depends on what sort surely?
We are building prisons at a rate of knots at the moment. A number of factors are sending more people to hospitals with injuries from violence, starting with urban planning issues. The way we build our suburbs coupled with the changes in society, and a narrative that money and freedom of choice are all has created an ugly mix.

[bulldogtragic]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

I'll get back to you. Merry Christmas.

Cool. To be clear, I'm not holding my breath that governments will do enough to fix the problem. Not the long overdue prominence of the issue and crisis that we find our society in. I hope they do though, odds are a domestic violence dispute will be the death of someone on Christmas Day. It's actually true how many serious assaults occasion the day from my past experiences.

[Murphy'sLore]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

I do believe that the current conversation and awareness is long overdue and can only be helpful. There had been such an atmosphere of shame around this situation, for the victim I mean, even if that changes that will be a positive outcome.

[LostDoggy]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

I do believe that the current conversation and awareness is long overdue and can only be helpful. There had been such an atmosphere of shame around this situation, for the victim I mean, even if that changes that will be a positive outcome.

Important point. We see this in other areas also, such as habitual abuse of children by authority figures within traditionally trusted institutions. This went on for decade after decade largely because people were so shocked by the idea that it was never discussed or considered as a widespread problem, leaving those abused feeling isolated, ashamed and helpless.

The more these issues are identified and discussed, the more victims will feel like they have support and people in the community who may understand and be able to assist, which will give some the strength to make change earlier.

Hopefully the shame is moved more on to the perpetrators. It would be nice to think that some of them would look to make meaningful change also.

[BornInDroopSt'54]

Re: Challenge male stereotypes to stop violent attitudes towards women

... forgive me for not holding my breath.

With your experience of the problem, I defer to your view.
This problem is really coming to the fore now because we are ready to look at it as a society and deal with it. Previously we swept it under the carpet if we didn't have to deal with it ourselves. Victims often don't want to talk about it for the reasons you cited. The violent family member has got away with it because of this and must feel they're unopposed other than by the bitter/sweet guilt/I'm sorry /sweet make up cycle which just reinforces the whole thing.
If the problem gets a public airing via advertising the issue becomes more openly a public one and you'd find a lot of support that way. It becomes part of the public discourse, people openly talk about it. This creates awareness and people are more likely to register the bruises or black eyes they see instead of dismissing it as unmentionable. The violent family member, even without people knowing they're violent, would be exposed to opinions of these 'scumbags' and whatever new legislation or retribution the govt could come up with. They would get the message that society does not accept family violence and this would have an impact as long as we are fair dinkum about it. Awareness does matter and there has been not much of it in the past, it's an issue that we weren't ready to deal with.
The other issue of course is suicide and we are still not ready for that one. It's for the future, it's unspeakable to most people, they wouldn't know what to say to a victim's family even if they were friends. However the time is now for domestic violence. Put money and resources into it for sure but talk about it. Let's keep it part of the sincere conversation.