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THE Western Bulldogs have today announced that the club “hasn’t had the best week”.
“It’s a spectacular mess really. It would be funny if we didn’t have a bunch of loyal fans who pour their heart, soul and money into the club every year,” said president Peter Gordon.
“Things weren’t going well a week ago but they were our salad days compared to now.”
“You’d have to ask yourself, how the hell did it even get to this point?”
Chief executive Simon Garlick said everything was working out “really, really badly”.
“Our captain wants out, other players are angry and our coach has resigned. It’s enough to make you wonder if we’ve handled this situation poorly.”
“Could we have managed this better? The results would seem to say that, yes, yes we could have.”
Mr Garlick said there was a good chance that things would get a lot worse before they got slightly less worse.
“You wouldn’t have a lot of confidence if you were a Dogs supporter would you?”
“I mean, the people that led you into this mess are going to get you out? Doesn’t really ever happen does it?”
The Bulldogs say they’re not sure what they’ll do next.
“We’ll probably need a new coach but after this week, I’m starting to think they’re more trouble than they’re worth,” said Mr Gordon.
Titus O’Reily is a satirical sports writer. You can read more Titus at titusoreily.com or follow him on Twitter @TitusOReily
Certainly is a satirical sports writer.
“It’s a spectacular mess really. It would be funny if we didn’t have a bunch of loyal fans who pour their heart, soul and money into the club every year,” said president Peter Gordon.
“Things weren’t going well a week ago but they were our salad days compared to now.”
“You’d have to ask yourself, how the hell did it even get to this point?”
Chief executive Simon Garlick said everything was working out “really, really badly”.
“Our captain wants out, other players are angry and our coach has resigned. It’s enough to make you wonder if we’ve handled this situation poorly.”
“Could we have managed this better? The results would seem to say that, yes, yes we could have.”
Mr Garlick said there was a good chance that things would get a lot worse before they got slightly less worse.
“You wouldn’t have a lot of confidence if you were a Dogs supporter would you?”
“I mean, the people that led you into this mess are going to get you out? Doesn’t really ever happen does it?”
The Bulldogs say they’re not sure what they’ll do next.
“We’ll probably need a new coach but after this week, I’m starting to think they’re more trouble than they’re worth,” said Mr Gordon.
Titus O’Reily is a satirical sports writer. You can read more Titus at titusoreily.com or follow him on Twitter @TitusOReily
Certainly is a satirical sports writer.
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