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To: Matthew Pavlich, Fremantle Dockers Football Club
From: Lantern, Whitten Oval Online Forum
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Dear Matthew,
Did you watch the gripping preliminary final between the Dogs and the Saints on Friday night? I'm sure you did -- you've always struck me as a football nut. Did you notice how the Dogs were so much better all over the ground than a team that had won 20 of 22 home and away games, and how many extra inside-50s the Dogs had over the Saints, usually a pretty reliable indicator of overall superiority?
Did you notice that most of the Dogs list are in their prime between 23 and 28 (like yourself), have played more than 100 games (like yourself) and have around 3-5 years left of being able to perform at this level (like youself)? If you did (and I'm sure you did) then you would conclude, like most of the rest of the football public, that this is one of the best teams going around, and will be so for a while yet.
Speaking of Friday night, did you also notice a gaping, glaring deficiency in our forward structure? When we were fresh, kicking the ball into the forward 50 was relatively easy, pinpointing one of our many skillful, fast, mobile (and small) forward options. But when the game got a bit tight, or when we got tired, we were kicking these high, looping balls, hoping that someone would take a mark, but we were just a little bit too short in many cases.
And yet, we only lost by a fingernail, despite all that, and the umpires shamelessly protecting this Nick Riewoldt fellow.
Speaking of Nick, are you sick of them talking about his height and atheleticism as if he was the only one of his kind in the competition, always forgetting about you because you don't play for a contender (with all due respect to Freo)? Don't you sometimes think you would be able to do what Nick does if you played with a better team -- heck you do it with Freo on a regular enough basis. If only you played in Melbourne, with a good team.. but more on that later.
On Friday night, watching, did you think that you would be the missing piece in the puzzle for the Dogs, that if you were playing for us, the Dogs would win the next five flags and create a new dynasty? I say five and not ten because you are already 27 and won't be able to play another ten years. Oh, that's right, you are already 27. Do you think Freo will win anything in the next five years? Even you, loyal, loyal Matthew, surely can't imagine that, even in your most optimistic moments. No one will question your loyalty for thinking that, Matthew.. you've given more than any sane person in your position would have for the old "heave-ho".
But maybe it's time to think of yourself? Maybe it's time for you to give Freo the old heave-ho themselves and come to the footballing mecca that is Melbourne. Maybe it's time to get the ubiquitous superstar recognition you truly deserve -- come on, in your heart of hearts you know you're better than Roo, that big softee with the goalkicking yips. Sure, a contending team like the Dogs won't have the same salary cap room than a basketcase like Freo (sorry) but you know that success comes at a price -- do you want to be the best-paid player in a nothing team in a nothing town, or take 70% of your market rate + 5 premierships? I know which one really floats your boat, if I know you well (and I think I do).
We would love you around the place. You would fill a hole in the team, and in our hearts. We will love you forever -- you will become a legend, not just a superstar, with the Dogs. Worried about the fishbowl that is Melbourne? No better place than the Dogs (look what we've done for Aker), family/community team that we are. No better blokes than Johnno, Huddo, Murph, Lakey, Coons et al.
Just think about it. Seriously. Think about Friday night, and look into your heart. You know I'm right. Then, on Monday morning, walk into the Fremantle Dockers' front office and ask for a trade. We only have pick 15 and Andrejs Everitt, but if you really make it clear that you're serious, Freo will take it (even they won't be silly enough to let you go for nothing).
If you still need convincing, just think about this -- when you're 80, with 12 grandchildren on your knee on Christmas day, which would you prefer: to tell them you played your whole career with the same team (some team named "Fremantle" that, along with "University" and "Fitzroy" don't exist anymore), or to let them play with your multiple premiership medallions + two brownlows (you know that players from winning teams get more votes). It really is a no-brainer, when you put it like that.
We look forward to welcoming you to the Red, White and Blue, and many, many years of invites to Legends dinners and Premiership reunions. Cheers!
Yours truly,
Lantern
Whitten Oval Online Forum
[All comments are personal opinion and not authorised by the Western Bulldogs, WOOF, or any related entity. I have James Fantasia's email address though, Matthew, if you're interested]
From: Lantern, Whitten Oval Online Forum
---
Dear Matthew,
Did you watch the gripping preliminary final between the Dogs and the Saints on Friday night? I'm sure you did -- you've always struck me as a football nut. Did you notice how the Dogs were so much better all over the ground than a team that had won 20 of 22 home and away games, and how many extra inside-50s the Dogs had over the Saints, usually a pretty reliable indicator of overall superiority?
Did you notice that most of the Dogs list are in their prime between 23 and 28 (like yourself), have played more than 100 games (like yourself) and have around 3-5 years left of being able to perform at this level (like youself)? If you did (and I'm sure you did) then you would conclude, like most of the rest of the football public, that this is one of the best teams going around, and will be so for a while yet.
Speaking of Friday night, did you also notice a gaping, glaring deficiency in our forward structure? When we were fresh, kicking the ball into the forward 50 was relatively easy, pinpointing one of our many skillful, fast, mobile (and small) forward options. But when the game got a bit tight, or when we got tired, we were kicking these high, looping balls, hoping that someone would take a mark, but we were just a little bit too short in many cases.
And yet, we only lost by a fingernail, despite all that, and the umpires shamelessly protecting this Nick Riewoldt fellow.
Speaking of Nick, are you sick of them talking about his height and atheleticism as if he was the only one of his kind in the competition, always forgetting about you because you don't play for a contender (with all due respect to Freo)? Don't you sometimes think you would be able to do what Nick does if you played with a better team -- heck you do it with Freo on a regular enough basis. If only you played in Melbourne, with a good team.. but more on that later.
On Friday night, watching, did you think that you would be the missing piece in the puzzle for the Dogs, that if you were playing for us, the Dogs would win the next five flags and create a new dynasty? I say five and not ten because you are already 27 and won't be able to play another ten years. Oh, that's right, you are already 27. Do you think Freo will win anything in the next five years? Even you, loyal, loyal Matthew, surely can't imagine that, even in your most optimistic moments. No one will question your loyalty for thinking that, Matthew.. you've given more than any sane person in your position would have for the old "heave-ho".
But maybe it's time to think of yourself? Maybe it's time for you to give Freo the old heave-ho themselves and come to the footballing mecca that is Melbourne. Maybe it's time to get the ubiquitous superstar recognition you truly deserve -- come on, in your heart of hearts you know you're better than Roo, that big softee with the goalkicking yips. Sure, a contending team like the Dogs won't have the same salary cap room than a basketcase like Freo (sorry) but you know that success comes at a price -- do you want to be the best-paid player in a nothing team in a nothing town, or take 70% of your market rate + 5 premierships? I know which one really floats your boat, if I know you well (and I think I do).
We would love you around the place. You would fill a hole in the team, and in our hearts. We will love you forever -- you will become a legend, not just a superstar, with the Dogs. Worried about the fishbowl that is Melbourne? No better place than the Dogs (look what we've done for Aker), family/community team that we are. No better blokes than Johnno, Huddo, Murph, Lakey, Coons et al.
Just think about it. Seriously. Think about Friday night, and look into your heart. You know I'm right. Then, on Monday morning, walk into the Fremantle Dockers' front office and ask for a trade. We only have pick 15 and Andrejs Everitt, but if you really make it clear that you're serious, Freo will take it (even they won't be silly enough to let you go for nothing).
If you still need convincing, just think about this -- when you're 80, with 12 grandchildren on your knee on Christmas day, which would you prefer: to tell them you played your whole career with the same team (some team named "Fremantle" that, along with "University" and "Fitzroy" don't exist anymore), or to let them play with your multiple premiership medallions + two brownlows (you know that players from winning teams get more votes). It really is a no-brainer, when you put it like that.
We look forward to welcoming you to the Red, White and Blue, and many, many years of invites to Legends dinners and Premiership reunions. Cheers!
Yours truly,
Lantern
Whitten Oval Online Forum
[All comments are personal opinion and not authorised by the Western Bulldogs, WOOF, or any related entity. I have James Fantasia's email address though, Matthew, if you're interested]
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