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AFL must feel the real Bullies' bite
SCOTT MOORE
AdelaideNow Sport Editor
FORGET West Sydney - Central District should follow Gold Coast into the AFL.
Sure, it's a radical move - I can already hear the howls of joy from the kennel and howls of protest from everywhere else.
But think about it - it's a winner for so many reasons, and for so many people.
First of all, fans of the other eight SANFL teams would be overjoyed to see the Bulldogs' death grip on the premiership eased.
Maybe we'll get an even competition where they can't buy the paint for the West End chimney a year in advance.
And if some other side can rise to create a dynasty, well, it's always refreshing to have a new team to hate.
The Centrals players would enjoy facing a challenge more often than, say, twice a season and the fans would get a whole nation of other supporters to annoy.
Even the AFL would be delighted. The whole point of its expansion is to introduce the brand into new markets.
Here's a chance reach out to not just a new market but arguably a new breed .
Welcome to the northern suburbs where fanatical Bulldogs fans are only faintly aware of a whisper of a rumour of a national competition.
If Centrals ain't innit, it don't count!
After all, when your team has turned its competition into a virtual fiefdom, why look abroad?
Many Central fans remain puzzled about where Brad Symes goes when he's not playing for the Bulldogs.
So, can the Dogs cut the mustard in the AFL?
With Port Adelaide in financial strife, a major sponsor is a must.
Well, there's this little operation called Holden that may be interested.
Especially when arch-rival Ford sponsors Geelong.
Australia's great motor rivalry could find a new field of conflict. Sweet.
I can hear the chant from the terraces now: "Hooooollllddddeeens, hooooollllddddeeens!"
Would there be enough support for the side?
Leaving aside the northern army already in place, a Central side in the AFL would give Crows and Power fans something they desperately need - an SA side to be their "second favourite".
Sure, barracking for Centrals would be hard for many of us, but the thought of the Gowans boys let loose on the Vics is alluring. Damned Victorians had it coming if you ask me.
Think it is a tough game now? Just wait for Central to out-AFL the AFL.
No.1 ticket holder? Delta Goodrem, of course. Her brother Trent is part of the team, so it's a perfect fit. Predictable, really.
What about the coach?
Roy Laird is renowned as a thorough gentleman, in every sense of the term. He is both thorough and a gentleman.
He's also as wily as a fox, as eight premierships in a decade attest.
Laird always seems to find a way to win the big games. A bit like Mick Malthouse, really, but with a less-silly moustache.
So all that remains is the name. Obviously those other Bulldogs are going to get stroppy if Central takes over the red, white and blue.
Why not the Rottweilers? It suits the way Central plays and the black-and-tans has a ring to it.
An AFL spokesman said yesterday that the Gold Coast would be the league's 17th team and West Sydney the 18th but "no decision has been made on the 19th or 20th clubs".
But that's not really a no, is it?
Rise up, Central fans, because the day of the Dog is upon us!
SCOTT MOORE
AdelaideNow Sport Editor
FORGET West Sydney - Central District should follow Gold Coast into the AFL.
Sure, it's a radical move - I can already hear the howls of joy from the kennel and howls of protest from everywhere else.
But think about it - it's a winner for so many reasons, and for so many people.
First of all, fans of the other eight SANFL teams would be overjoyed to see the Bulldogs' death grip on the premiership eased.
Maybe we'll get an even competition where they can't buy the paint for the West End chimney a year in advance.
And if some other side can rise to create a dynasty, well, it's always refreshing to have a new team to hate.
The Centrals players would enjoy facing a challenge more often than, say, twice a season and the fans would get a whole nation of other supporters to annoy.
Even the AFL would be delighted. The whole point of its expansion is to introduce the brand into new markets.
Here's a chance reach out to not just a new market but arguably a new breed .
Welcome to the northern suburbs where fanatical Bulldogs fans are only faintly aware of a whisper of a rumour of a national competition.
If Centrals ain't innit, it don't count!
After all, when your team has turned its competition into a virtual fiefdom, why look abroad?
Many Central fans remain puzzled about where Brad Symes goes when he's not playing for the Bulldogs.
So, can the Dogs cut the mustard in the AFL?
With Port Adelaide in financial strife, a major sponsor is a must.
Well, there's this little operation called Holden that may be interested.
Especially when arch-rival Ford sponsors Geelong.
Australia's great motor rivalry could find a new field of conflict. Sweet.
I can hear the chant from the terraces now: "Hooooollllddddeeens, hooooollllddddeeens!"
Would there be enough support for the side?
Leaving aside the northern army already in place, a Central side in the AFL would give Crows and Power fans something they desperately need - an SA side to be their "second favourite".
Sure, barracking for Centrals would be hard for many of us, but the thought of the Gowans boys let loose on the Vics is alluring. Damned Victorians had it coming if you ask me.
Think it is a tough game now? Just wait for Central to out-AFL the AFL.
No.1 ticket holder? Delta Goodrem, of course. Her brother Trent is part of the team, so it's a perfect fit. Predictable, really.
What about the coach?
Roy Laird is renowned as a thorough gentleman, in every sense of the term. He is both thorough and a gentleman.
He's also as wily as a fox, as eight premierships in a decade attest.
Laird always seems to find a way to win the big games. A bit like Mick Malthouse, really, but with a less-silly moustache.
So all that remains is the name. Obviously those other Bulldogs are going to get stroppy if Central takes over the red, white and blue.
Why not the Rottweilers? It suits the way Central plays and the black-and-tans has a ring to it.
An AFL spokesman said yesterday that the Gold Coast would be the league's 17th team and West Sydney the 18th but "no decision has been made on the 19th or 20th clubs".
But that's not really a no, is it?
Rise up, Central fans, because the day of the Dog is upon us!
They were very good for a while! And their grandstand is named after my grandfather.
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