Ben Cousins again

[westdog54]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Maybe. I'm saying that his manager knew there were issues and tried to talk to the player about it but once a defiant Cousins wouldn't listen I think Nixon just accepted it and I'm not sure that all other managers would have. I would have looked to terminate the relationship if you don't think you can help turn it around.

I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to have to endure what the Cousins family has and they seem like a great family.

I'd expand on that by saying that if Nixon knew he had these issues but was still happy to make money off him in spite of them, it shows how concerned he really was about it all.

[KT31]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Lets forget Nixon, he is just an oxygen thief,.
While we are pointing fingers for Cousins poor choices and addictions a major part of blame must be placed on West Coke and their culture at the time, lets not forget Cousins is not the only player from them in that period who has major issues.

[Twodogs]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Maybe. I'm saying that his manager knew there were issues and tried to talk to the player about it but once a defiant Cousins wouldn't listen I think Nixon just accepted it and I'm not sure that all other managers would have. I would have looked to terminate the relationship if you don't think you can help turn it around.

I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to have to endure what the Cousins family has and they seem like a great family.

To be brutally honest his parents are just as much to blame as his manager. Maybe more so. They have looked the other way, refused to believe the evidence of their own eyes and been swayed by the bullshit stories and denials. They have enabled Ben's usage every bit as much as Nixon.

It might sound unfair but it's true of almost every addict. We are a manipulative breed and we will to lie and cheat anyone, no matter who they are-parents, partners, friends, cops, therapists, counsellors in order to get set. Tge thing about a junky is drugs control their life. Not for an hour a day, not for half the day but you're planning and scheming 24/7. You have no human friends, just fellow users and drugs.

People think they can help but they can only help in one way, and that's being there to pick up the pieces when the user wants help. They can't be corralled into stopping using. In fact most times if you try and force them to stop you're doing more harm than good because all that will achieve is a backlash and more usage.

Square heads try to look for sense in drug usage but there isn't any. It's a stupid, pointless thing to do but it's a compulsion that is uncontrollable for some of us. We don't really understand why we do it to ourselves so others aren't going to be able to work it out. I only stopped taking drugs because it I just got so sick of it, the illness, the tattooed *!*!*!*!wits, being broke all the time and I was so tired.

Somebody once said to me at AA that I still had plenty of highs left in me but that the next bout of coming down after would kill me. if Ben works that out for himself he will get better. I just hope he can survive until then.

[AndrewP6]

Re: Ben Cousins again

To be brutally honest his parents are just as much to blame as his manager. Maybe more so. They have looked the other way, refused to believe the evidence of their own eyes and been swayed by the bullshit stories and denials. They have enabled Ben's usage every bit as much as Nixon.

It might sound unfair but it's true of almost every addict. We are a manipulative breed and we will to lie and cheat anyone, no matter who they are-parents, partners, friends, cops, therapists, counsellors in order to get set. Tge thing about a junky is drugs control their life. Not for an hour a day, not for half the day but you're planning and scheming 24/7. You have no human friends, just fellow users and drugs.

People think they can help but they can only help in one way, and that's being there to pick up the pieces when the user wants help. They can't be corralled into stopping using. In fact most times if you try and force them to stop you're doing more harm than good because all that will achieve is a backlash and more usage.

Square heads try to look for sense in drug usage but there isn't any. It's a stupid, pointless thing to do but it's a compulsion that is uncontrollable for some of us. We don't really understand why we do it to ourselves so others aren't going to be able to work it out. I only stopped taking drugs because it I just got so sick of it, the illness, the tattooed *!*!*!*!wits, being broke all the time and I was so tired.

Somebody once said to me at AA that I still had plenty of highs left in me but that the next bout of coming down after would kill me. if Ben works that out for himself he will get better. I just hope he can survive until then.

Not having a go at you here, but I'm not sure I agree with the comment re: Ben's parents. After seeing that doco they appeared in, his troubles were very, very raw, so I don't see that as looking the other way. They've certainly picked up plenty of pieces along the way IMO.

[Twodogs]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Not having a go at you here, but I'm not sure I agree with the comment re: Ben's parents. After seeing that doco they appeared in, his troubles were very, very raw, so I don't see that as looking the other way. They've certainly picked up plenty of pieces along the way IMO.

Yeah fair point. Maybe not his parents but those close to him

[GVGjr]

Re: Ben Cousins again

To be brutally honest his parents are just as much to blame as his manager. Maybe more so. They have looked the other way, refused to believe the evidence of their own eyes and been swayed by the bullshit stories and denials. They have enabled Ben's usage every bit as much as Nixon.

I must admit that early on I thought Bryan was too focused on ensuring Ben was not lost to the AFL than he should have been.
There was a bigger problem that needed to be the focus.

[Twodogs]

Re: Ben Cousins again

I must admit that early on I thought Bryan was too focused on ensuring Ben was not lost to the AFL than he should have been.
There was a bigger problem that needed to be the focus.

Most parents first reaction to the news their child is taking drugs is "how will this make me look as a parent" when it should be "this isn't about me, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks I have to help my child" Quite often problem drug use at that age is a cry for help anyway.

Also it's important to distinguish between fairly normal curiosity on a kids behalf and long term problematic use. I watch my kids like a hawk (for the obvious reasons-that one is probably more about me than them) but thankfully haven't seen any signs. But if I notice long absences, unexplained illnesses, unusual sleeping patterns or anything similar then I will want to know what is going on. And I won't be getting fobbed off with tales where everybody else is at fault or circumstances prevailed. I'll be looking for responsibility being taken and then we can move forward.

When it comes to drugs and kids there are no easy convenient solutions. You have to break a few eggs.

[LostDoggy]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Most parents first reaction to the news their child is taking drugs is "how will this make me look as a parent" when it should be "this isn't about me, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks I have to help my child" Quite often problem drug use at that age is a cry for help anyway.

Also it's important to distinguish between fairly normal curiosity on a kids behalf and long term problematic use. I watch my kids like a hawk (for the obvious reasons-that one is probably more about me than them) but thankfully haven't seen any signs. But if I notice long absences, unexplained illnesses, unusual sleeping patterns or anything similar then I will want to know what is going on. And I won't be getting fobbed off with tales where everybody else is at fault or circumstances prevailed. I'll be looking for responsibility being taken and then we can move forward.

When it comes to drugs and kids there are no easy convenient solutions. You have to break a few eggs.

I'm all over my boys, two teenagers and my saying to them is you can't bullshit a bullshitter. There are 14-15yr olds getting around on some of the worst but it's all through the schools. I've been through a lot and seen a lot. I don't tolerate a second of shit It's all we can do but still it can mean nothing in the end.

[hujsh]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Most parents first reaction to the news their child is taking drugs is "how will this make me look as a parent" when it should be "this isn't about me, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks I have to help my child" Quite often problem drug use at that age is a cry for help anyway.

Also it's important to distinguish between fairly normal curiosity on a kids behalf and long term problematic use. I watch my kids like a hawk (for the obvious reasons-that one is probably more about me than them) but thankfully haven't seen any signs. But if I notice long absences, unexplained illnesses, unusual sleeping patterns or anything similar then I will want to know what is going on. And I won't be getting fobbed off with tales where everybody else is at fault or circumstances prevailed. I'll be looking for responsibility being taken and then we can move forward.

When it comes to drugs and kids there are no easy convenient solutions. You have to break a few eggs.

You'd have thought I was off my head with the weird hours I slept over holidays. (I wasn't and have never done anything worse than booze/pot)

[ledge]

Re: Ben Cousins again

I separated from my marriage when my kids were 5 and 10 , they both grew up being great kids .. Never touched drugs .. A compliment to their mother .,but we did have the discussion when they were first teenagers about drugs/alcohol and this is the best way I found to combat them. You may all not agree but my children have grown up very responsible and popular adults.
1 peer group . We always kept an eye on who their friends were and invited them to our house and got to know them.
Who they hang out with is the most important. You would sway them towards the good kids.
2 alcohol now this is where I could get slammed but it worked , my children at an early age grew up seeing me having a beer I let them have a sip if they asked , around 8 or 9 they started to ask.
I figured a sip was ok and at 18 when they got their licence drinking was something they didn't find new as they had been sipping out of my can for years..
Outcome .. My kids don't drink , only at parties and lucky if it's 3 cans a whole night , my daughter likes a white wine occasionally my son likes flavoured vodka.
They find beer isn't anything they enjoy and drinking isn't something they partake in on a regular basis at all.
I put it all down to the friends they have.
Strange thing is my son is in a pretty good hard metal band .. Tatts all
Over him doesn't smoke doesn't drink, beard down to his knees but the quietest most well mannered person you could ever meet.
My daughter is much the same but being a girl more vocal.
They are 25 and 20 now.
I guess the point is .. Keep a hold on who their close friends are and guide them on the "good friends " path.
This is where I fine the WCFC has neglected in their duties to keep an eye on the young players . If your going to take young kids from their parents we'll be like a parent and treat them as your own.

In the early 80s my parents took players in from the country the club had recruited . The idea from the club was they were kept in a good family environment .. I'm not sure it happens today but I do see a lot of footballers being roommates with other young players ,a recipe for problems if they aren't in a family environment in my opinion.

[Bornadog]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Fallen Eagle Ben Cousins arrested on new stalking, drug and VRO charges

[Twodogs]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Geez. I dunno. This is just awful watching the guy hurtle toward immortality.

I wouldn't often say this but he needs locking up or strapping down or something dramatic.

[ledge]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Geez. I dunno. This is just awful watching the guy hurtle toward immortality.

I wouldn't often say this but he needs locking up or strapping down or something dramatic.

Before an innocent party gets hurt. If anyone I knew was caused Grief by him I would be trying to sue the courts / government they had the opportunity many times to see he was off the rails .. Should make the government or judges responsible for such blatantly obvious guy on a spiral being a danger to the public and keep letting him out or not putting him somewhere at least.

[bulldogtragic]

Re: Ben Cousins again

His lawyer wanted him to go rehab, but the judge said no, no, no.

1 year in the state's mandatory custody for Ben.

[LostDoggy]

Re: Ben Cousins again

Ben just got 12 months. 6 months non parole.