The official Sam Reid/Daniel Currie Memorial Eker Thread

[Twodogs]

Re: Ekers

Creating the perception of work while trying to get of doing any is a skill. Many a person in an office knows this.

I was a public servant for years. I'm a past master at looking busy.

[jeemak]

Re: Ekers

I was a public servant for years. I'm a past master at looking busy.

It's getting so much harder now that people communicate electronically more so than via the phone or face to face.

Looking busy and frustrated just isn't enough any more, now that your daily activity is effectively traced via your email activity.

[bulldogtragic]

Re: Ekers

I was a public servant for years. I'm a past master at looking busy.

My plan never failed. Was yours similar to mine?

Step 1. Grab a manilla folder and then put some paperwork on top. Make it look like a working file of some sort, a bit of mess not too neat.
Step 2. Try to find a place away from colleagues as much as possible.
Step 3. Every now and then, but with enough regularity, walk around quite abruptly with an annoyed/shitty look on your face with reference to 'the file'. With an occasional 'fresh air break' with the smokers because "you've had enough of 'the file' and need to get out of the office. Anyway, how your day?". Remember, No one cares about your 'problems', so they won't ask anything whatsoever and in fact go to great lengths to not be involved in perceived stress. So hide in plain sight.
Step 4. Go back to doing nothing with the frustrated facial expressions and body language towards a computer and occasional flick of file. Throw out the occasional excesperated words such as TJF at an audible level (The Job's F....D).
Step 5. Repeat step 3 and step 4 until the shift is over. Maybe check how many sick days without certificates needed are in the kitty still.
Step 6. Go home.

Never, ever, ever failed.

[bulldogtragic]

Re: Ekers

It's getting so much harder now that people communicate electronically more so than via the phone or face to face.

Looking busy and frustrated just isn't enough any more, now that your daily activity is effectively traced via your email activity.

That's a shame your email is so reliable. Problems with sending and receiving, incorrect server settings, mail going into junk boxes without my knowing and problems dealing with help desks used to shit me to tears.

[jeemak]

Re: Ekers

Passive aggressiveness whilst still seeming to achieve results is the best way to have people leave you alone.

Dead pan responses to plain old regular day to day queries that kind of sound like you should be joking but just sound serious enough to be threatening need to be stock standard.

[Murphy'sLore]

Re: Ekers

My plan never failed. Was yours similar to mine?

Step 1. Grab a manilla folder and then put some paperwork on top. Make it look like a working file of some sort, a bit of mess not too neat.
Step 2. Try to find a place away from colleagues as much as possible.
Step 3. Every now and then, but with enough regularity, walk around quite abruptly with an annoyed/shitty look on your face with reference to 'the file'. With an occasional 'fresh air break' with the smokers because "you've had enough of 'the file' and need to get out of the office. Anyway, how your day?". Remember, No one cares about your 'problems', so they won't ask anything whatsoever and in fact go to great lengths to not be involved in perceived stress. So hide in plain sight.
Step 4. Go back to doing nothing with the frustrated facial expressions and body language towards a computer and occasional flick of file. Throw out the occasional excesperated words such as TJF at an audible level (The Job's F....D).
Step 5. Repeat step 3 and step 4 until the shift is over. Maybe check how many sick days without certificates needed are in the kitty still.
Step 6. Go home.

Never, ever, ever failed.

How To Be An Everyday Eker: The Handbook

Could be a bestseller!

[Greystache]

Re: Ekers

I work in strategy, so my (and the whole industry's) approach is just roll out the same work you did last month/year/decade but invent some new words to call it so it sounds like it's something entirely new.

Cadence=> Operating rythym=> Loop circles it's like just Blue steel=> Latigra=> Ferrari

[Ghost Dog]

Re: Ekers

How the hell do you become an AFL eker then? It's such a professional environment.

[Bornadog]

Re: Ekers

How the hell do you become an AFL eker then? It's such a professional environment.

Easy, you play one good game, get injured, have another good game, have a setback and just keep hanging in there off the back of a few games, and lots of injuries but show lot';s of potential that you never fulfill.

Of course you do this year after year and next thing you have played 50 games in 8 years

[Twodogs]

Re: Ekers

My plan never failed. Was yours similar to mine?

Step 1. Grab a manilla folder and then put some paperwork on top. Make it look like a working file of some sort, a bit of mess not too neat.
Step 2. Try to find a place away from colleagues as much as possible.
Step 3. Every now and then, but with enough regularity, walk around quite abruptly with an annoyed/shitty look on your face with reference to 'the file'. With an occasional 'fresh air break' with the smokers because "you've had enough of 'the file' and need to get out of the office. Anyway, how your day?". Remember, No one cares about your 'problems', so they won't ask anything whatsoever and in fact go to great lengths to not be involved in perceived stress. So hide in plain sight.
Step 4. Go back to doing nothing with the frustrated facial expressions and body language towards a computer and occasional flick of file. Throw out the occasional excesperated words such as TJF at an audible level (The Job's F....D).
Step 5. Repeat step 3 and step 4 until the shift is over. Maybe check how many sick days without certificates needed are in the kitty still.
Step 6. Go home.

Never, ever, ever failed.

Frighteningly accurate. Not forgetting to offer to help the receptionist with some trivial job (answer the line that's been flashing for a while and take a message) so that when anyone asks her where you are she can tell them how unbelievably busy you are.


And I loved Phoeniix.

[merantau]

Re: Ekers

As a follow up to all of the above: any Bristow fans out there? He disappeared from The Age quite a few years ago now.

[Sedat]

Re: Ekers

Today is a fantastic day for all recently delisted ekers - an extra 10 spots up for grabs now, the only downside is that they have to play for Essendon.

[Missing Dog]

Re: Ekers

Ah Bristow! My role model when I was in the APS. Who could forget the decade long ramifications of "The great tea trolley disaster"? Some things can't be unknown.

[Mofra]

Re: Ekers

Surely the Essendon top-up player scenario will bring us some further eker gold?
A player not on an AFL list as of the start of 2016 will be likely to play senior football this year. That is some serious eker effort

[Bornadog]

Re: Ekers

Ayce Cordy is in the mix